Between Earth and Elsewhere

Seorin looked troubled, like a lost stray dog wandering without purpose.

“How’s your sister doing?”

“My sister…”

Could it be something related to Arin? Why hadn’t Seorin answered when Yeomyung had asked about her? It was unsettling, to say the least.

Was his guess correct? Had Arin been admitted to a psychiatric hospital? Or was it something worse? Then again, maybe there was nothing to worry about. Maybe Arin had recovered and returned to her life before Yeomyung entered it. That’s what he hoped to hear—that Arin was fine. That would’ve finally silenced the nagging discomfort in his mind.

Instead, Seorin’s response only unearthed his buried guilt.

Yeomyung tried to avoid thinking about someone suffering because of his mistake. If that were true, how could he continue living so casually? Though he’d convinced himself countless times that he wasn’t to blame, why did this unpleasant feeling keep rising from the dead, zombie-like?

Maybe Arin was fine, and he alone carried this burden. He could simply contact Seorin and ask about Arin. But what if the news was bad? What would he say then?

Judging by Seorin’s expression yesterday, his suspicions weren’t unfounded. Perhaps it was better to remain in this limbo, where he could still cling to the possibility, however slight, that Arin was okay.

Yet the conclusion remained unchanged: Yeomyung wasn’t at fault, and Arin’s condition shouldn’t affect him. He’d told himself this before, so why did he keep needing the reminder?

Yeomyung parked his bike in front of the sandwich shop but hesitated before entering.

Inside him, emotions swirled like murky water stirred by a stick, leaving him both irritated and unsettled. The cause was Daeun.

Last night with her had stirred a gentle breeze in his heart. He wanted to stop these feelings, yet part of him longed to let them linger. If it were just the breeze alone, he might have welcomed it.

But Daeun’s resemblance to Arin was uncanny, making it impossible not to think of her. While Daeun lived a normal life, Arin might be trapped somewhere—in a vegetative state, or worse. Though Yeomyung knew it wasn’t his fault, the thought haunted him. How could he let his heart flutter for Daeun under such circumstances? It felt wrong.

He pushed through the door, still conflicted.

“Ham and cheese, right?” Daeun greeted him with a smile.

“Yes.”

Their time together yesterday had changed even this simple exchange. Her gaze felt more intimate now, like one shared between people with a secret.

As Daeun’s hands moved swiftly preparing his sandwich, Yeomyung reminded himself: she wasn’t Arin. The girl who spoke of being taken to space could never have transformed so completely. Even Daeun’s words last night proved she was different from that troubled girl.

There was no reason to feel about Daeun as he had about Arin. No reason at all.

“Do you watch the news?” Daeun asked, still focused on the sandwich.

“Not really.”

“Then you probably missed the rocket launch in the U.S.—the USSF-51 Atlas V 55.”

“…”

“Makes you think about the astronauts, though. Imagine something suddenly flying toward your peaceful home up there.”

A strange feeling crept over Yeomyung.

“Why are you talking about this?” he asked.

Daeun looked up. “Oh, I’m just interested in that stuff. Hard to tell when I’m always making sandwiches, right?”

Was this just a coincidence?

“Why are you interested in it?” Yeomyung pressed.

“Well…” Her hands stilled over the sandwich. “I just… wanted to think about something bigger. Broader, you know? When you believe what’s right in front of you is all there is, it gets suffocating. But from space? Everything down here seems insignificant. All the amazing and terrible things just… fade away.”

The explanation seemed reasonable. Arin could never have explained it like that. This was pure Daeun. Just because someone mentioned space didn’t make them Arin.

“Do you usually get off work at that time?” she asked, bagging his sandwich.

“Yes… usually.”

“Someone ordered the wrong sandwich earlier. I’ll probably take it home tonight. Want to share it at the convenience store again?”

When Yeomyung hesitated, she added, “I owe you for those dumplings last night.”

“Uh… well…” Yeomyung managed a vague nod.

Noting his expression, Daeun asked, “See you later, then?”

“Yes…”

Yeomyung grabbed his sandwich and hurried out.

He mounted his bike, aware Daeun might be watching from inside. His usually natural movements felt stiff and awkward, his heart hammering in his chest. The bike wobbled dangerously as he fumbled with the pedals. After barely catching his balance, he rode on, wondering if Daeun had witnessed his near-fall.

Well, if she saw, she saw.

His mind drifted to what he’d just agreed to. Was he really meeting Daeun after work? Did she have feelings for him? Why else would she suggest meeting?

Or maybe she was just being nice about the dumplings. But then, wouldn’t a free sandwich have been enough? Why specifically suggest meeting in the evening?

Heat crept through his body. The weather was still pretty hot.

Why had he agreed? He’d said yes simply because he couldn’t think of anything else…

The traffic light turned red.

Yeomyung stopped at the crosswalk. Had he really agreed just because he was caught off guard? He could have easily said he was having dinner at home. If he truly didn’t want to see Daeun, he would have refused. Instead, he made excuses: “It would be awkward to refuse since we see each other regularly.”

The light turned green.

As he pedaled forward, his mind raced. Should he follow through since he’d agreed? Or was he just telling himself he had no choice because he actually wanted to go?

He could easily make up an excuse not to meet. He didn’t even need to return to the shop. He could just look up their number and call. But as soon as Yeomyung realized there were ways to avoid seeing Daeun, an unexpected disappointment settled over him.

Should he really cancel? Could he meet Daeun just this once? Maybe they could settle the dumpling debt tonight and part ways cleanly.

But Yeomyung knew better.

If he saw her today, he’d want to see her tomorrow. Breaking away would only get harder. Now was the easiest time to stop.

He considered their situation. What future could there be between two twenty-five-year-olds like them, neither in college nor holding steady jobs?

Some might say they were young—why so pessimistic? But their lives had been stunted from the start. Those destined to bloom were already living differently from people like Yeomyung.

A life lived this way in youth wouldn’t improve with age. If anything, it would worsen—health would fade, minds would dull, looks would deteriorate.

Fear crept in the more he dwelled on it. This was exactly why Yeomyung avoided thinking about the distant future. This was why he lived day by day. No amount of worrying would change what lay ahead; it would only poison his present.

Daeun’s life seemed equally adrift. What good could come from two people like them getting together? Even if they understood each other perfectly, what would change? Two tedious lives combined would only multiply the tedium. Poverty added to poverty would only breed more poverty. The only thing that would double would be their burdens.

Yeomyung parked his bike in front of the dumpling shop.

He’d call the sandwich shop after lunch to say he couldn’t meet tonight.

***

“Seorin.”

“Yes?”

“When will you clear out Arin’s room?”

“Oh… well…”

“You said you’d call someone to clear it out.”

“I think it might be better to leave it for now,” Seorin said, swallowing hard. Despite her fear, she knew she had to speak up.

Her mother’s voice turned sharp. “Why? Didn’t we already agree?”

Seorin’s mouth opened slightly. Her mother despised repeating conversations.

Though confident and assertive everywhere else, before her parents, Seorin shrank back to her elementary school self.

“It feels too soon. We have other rooms, why rush to empty hers…”

“I’ve already moved all the golf clubs from storage because you said we’d clear it in a few days. Now you’re changing your mind?”

“At the time it seemed right, but thinking about it again…”

“Why are you thinking about it again? Don’t waste thoughts on that. How do you expect to get work done? You know what I always say—your decisions don’t end with you. They become company strategy, affecting hundreds of employees. How can you carelessly change your mind after making a decision?”

“Mom, this isn’t work. It’s family…”

“Work or family, decisions need care. Once made thoughtfully, don’t look back. See? We moved all the golf clubs because of what you said. Every decision has consequences.”

Seorin wanted to ask why her mother seemed more energetic than before. Considering her sister’s present condition, her mother seemed unusually full of life, as if she had something to celebrate.

Not that Seorin could point it out. She knew her mother would agree, would probably say it was something to celebrate.

“You think I’m heartless, don’t you?” said her mother.

Seorin couldn’t win. Her mother was always right. This was her parents’ kingdom, and here, they were never wrong.

“No…” Seorin said, sounding resigned.

“Clear out the stuff within a few days.”

“I’ll clear it out by the end of this week.”

“That’s too long. Do it within three days.”

Her mother grabbed her car keys and left, leaving Seorin standing there in silence.