Fugly Casanova

What’s her deal? She wants to go with me? What, is she not into guys? Maybe she’s fed up with getting hit on and just wants a friend to chill with.

…No, that can’t be right. Even at a basic level, unattractive dudes don’t get treated the same. Girls generally don’t like being alone with guys like that.

Noeul glanced at Joonki’s face. He was smiling, but it was clearly forced. It wasn’t the kind of sadness that comes from being left out; it was more like anger. He was deeply hurt, and his pride was wounded. He probably felt like he had lost to someone he saw as inferior.

If Jiwoo had chosen a more attractive guy over Joonki, he might have just been sad, like a heartbroken hero in a movie. But that wasn’t the case. Joonki was pissed. He couldn’t show his anger, though, because that would expose how little he thought of Noeul. So, he was desperately trying to maintain his smile.

Noeul didn’t want to upset his friend. Jiwoo wasn’t picking him over Joonki. She seemed to be playing some kind of game with them. If Noeul played along and it damaged his friendship, only Noeul would suffer. Joonki might avoid hanging out with Noeul, and that would be it for Noeul’s social life.

So, Noeul said, “Hey, you don’t even play games.”

“Me? I do too!” Jiwoo said, widening her eyes and shaking her head emphatically.

Must be nice being pretty. Even when she’s obviously toying with two guys, it’s tough to stay mad when she looks like that.

“What would you do at an internet café?” Noeul asked.

“Hmm… I’d play Kart Rider!”

“Kart Rider?”

“Yeah.”

Just then, Joonki turned to Noeul. “You guys can play together, then. You play Kart sometimes, don’t you?”

“What are you talking about? I don’t play that.”

“Oh, come on. You played it last time, saying it was nostalgic.”

It was clear Joonki was trying to act nonchalant. He had never been in a situation like this and was obviously confused.

“Forget it,” Noeul said. “I have to do my rank matches.”

“You can do that later.”

Joonki tried to persuade Noeul, implying, “Why be envious of someone like you? Even if you two went on a trip together, she wouldn’t be interested in you.”

Noeul felt sorry for Joonki, who was bending to Jiwoo’s wishes.

“Why are you even pushing to go to the internet café?” Noeul said, turning back to Jiwoo.

“Why not? Am I not allowed in?”

“Fine…”

“Yay, let’s go!”

If he kept refusing, people would think he had some ulterior motive or was acting out of an inferiority complex. Noeul was half resigned to his fate.

***

“Hey, you,” Jiwoo called out, peeking over the partition.

Noeul turned slightly to face her. “What?”

“Are you mad?”

“No…”

“Then why have you been so quiet and grumpy?”

“I just have nothing to say.”

“Geez…”

Jiwoo pouted slightly, making Noeul wonder if he’d been too harsh. Maybe she genuinely just wanted to hang out. Maybe he was being overly cold. But then he reassured himself, What did I do wrong? I just stayed quiet on the way here.

He had endured this kind of treatment his whole life. Beautiful people weren’t used to being ignored, and it could hurt them. But the idea of worrying about upsetting Jiwoo felt as ridiculous as a peasant worrying about dirtying a noble’s shoes.

“Let’s play Kart Rider,” Jiwoo chirped.

“No. I have to do my rank matches.”

“Why not? Didn’t you hear what Joonki said earlier?”

Joonki. His expression had been sour when they parted. Noeul had considered telling him, “I’ll only be an hour or two and then head home,” but he knew Joonki would find it laughable. Joonki would have mocked him silently, thinking, Do you really think I feel threatened? That I’m anxious that Jiwoo might like you?

No, to Jiwoo, Noeul was as harmless as a brother. In fact, spending time with Noeul might even make her appreciate Joonki more.

“Kart. Rider.”

Jiwoo leaned closer, placing her arm on the armrest of Noeul’s chair, their sleeves briefly touching. Noeul hesitated for about three seconds before withdrawing.

“Alright, fine. Just one game.”

“Yay!”

Jiwoo hummed the tune of the Kart Rider background music as she logged in.

If I don’t play, she’ll just keep pestering me, Noeul thought. One game and I’m done.

He logged in, feeling like he had somehow given in to her scheme. Was he too quick to comply, swept up by her charms? Am I just another guy who can’t resist a pretty girl’s plea? He felt a twinge of annoyance at the thought.

“Bam, ba-ra bam, bam, bam, bam, ba-bam. Oh my god, I’m so excited.”

Meanwhile, Jiwoo was singing along to the game’s theme song, clearly thrilled. Noeul decided he’d finish the round quickly and move on.

It’s just a game, after all. Why make a big deal out of it?

He set up a room.

“Why are you using the beginner’s yellow gloves?” Noeul asked.

“Why? Is it bad?”

“You said you’ve played Kart before. Why’s your rank so low?”

“Well… I forgot my old account, so I had to make a new one.”

“Ah.”

3, 2, 1. GO!

Noeul raced half-heartedly. As he vied for first place, he noticed Jiwoo struggling way behind in eighth place, so far back he actually lapped her. She called out from beside him, “Nooo. Wait for meee.”

“Wait in a game? You really suck at this. Do you even like Kart Rider?”

“Of course! Just wait. You’re so heartless.”

“What’s the point of playing if I have to wait?”

Noeul laughed incredulously.

Jiwoo grumbled beside him, “Why do I keep crashing? This is so frustrating.”

“You keep crashing because you’re bad at it.”

“Ugh, this is infuriating. Ughhh.”

As expected, Jiwoo finished in last place, far behind everyone else. Noeul tried to stifle his laughter as she nearly slid off her chair, looking defeated.

“One more game, please,” she said.

“No way.”

“Pretty please?”

“I said no.”

“I’ll buy you ice cream.”

“I don’t like ice cream.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not lying.”

Suddenly, Jiwoo fell silent. Noeul glanced over, wondering if she was upset, only to find her seat empty.

“Hehehe.”

“What the—”

Jiwoo had snuck over to Noeul’s side and was fiddling with his mouse. She crouched next to him, her face peeking up like a Pomeranian trying to climb onto a sofa. Meanwhile, she had started another game. As she scurried back to her chair, she said, “I’m just too upset about losing.”

“With your skills, there’s nothing to be upset about.”

“Ugh, you’re so mean.”

3, 2, 1. GO!

Noeul started the game again. Checking the standings, Jiwoo was still trailing in last place. He glanced over and saw her leaning forward intently, her face almost touching the screen, her brow furrowed in concentration. Noeul couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Shut up. I’m… concentrating here.”

“Your skills are seriously… What the— What are you doing?”

“Hehehe. Hehehe!”

As Noeul’s character sped along the course, Jiwoo’s character barreled down in the opposite direction and collided with him head-on like a bumper car. Noeul’s kart spun out, flying off the track. Jiwoo’s character then proceeded to ram other players off the course as well.

“What are you doing?”

“Why?”

“Wow, you have no sportsmanship.”

“Let’s all crash and burn together!”

“People will get mad if you keep doing that.”

Sure enough, the chat window started filling with angry messages. Noeul glanced at Jiwoo, expecting her to look embarrassed or worried. Instead, she was laughing hysterically.

“Are these guys really cussing me out?”

“Yes. I told you they would.”

“Aha-ha-ha!”

“You’re really something else. A complete lunatic.”

Noeul shook his head, bemused. Jiwoo found his reaction hilarious and continued to laugh heartily. They played a few more rounds before finally leaving.

Noeul checked the time. They had spent nearly three hours playing Kart Rider. As he walked home, he thought about Jiwoo laughing uproariously, almost sinking into the computer chair.

She may have a pretty face, but she acts like the village idiot.

Noeul realized he was smiling to himself.

It was that fun, huh?

It seemed so.

When was the last time he had enjoyed himself like this? He couldn’t recall. In reality, Noeul rarely had fun. Despite appearing comfortable, he was always on edge, trying to blend in, to get along just enough to avoid criticism. As someone who wasn’t considered attractive, moments of pure joy were rare. He was constantly mindful of how others perceived him. But just now, he had genuinely had fun. Maybe it was because they were at an internet café, not facing each other directly, which allowed him to laugh more freely. He didn’t have to worry about how people viewed him and Jiwoo laughing together.

What was Jiwoo’s intention?

She probably just had fun. She would laugh and move on, having more fun with other guys. But for Noeul, it wasn’t the same. He would replay this memory over and over because it was all he had. For Jiwoo, such memories would be replaced and overwritten by new ones almost instantly. Jiwoo was undoubtedly aware of the difference between them. Did she do this on purpose, knowing he would cling to the memory?

Did she enjoy becoming a significant part of someone’s life so easily, only to turn away with a nonchalant, “I was just having fun”?

Maybe she liked watching the other person squirm.

Noeul’s frustration grew. Yet, Jiwoo’s smiling face kept replaying in his mind like an endless loop. There was a moment when he felt a connection with her. She had understood his jokes and responded warmly, almost as if they were longtime friends. It felt like they could continue to build on that.

If this had been his first encounter with such a connection, he would have been genuinely thrilled. He might have imagined growing closer to Jiwoo. But if he greeted her in person as warmly as he envisioned, Jiwoo might pull back, surprised. Suddenly, Noeul would be seen as the delusional guy who mistook his kindness for something more.

Conflicting thoughts and emotions swirled chaotically in his mind. He hated feeling like this. He had tried so hard to avoid unnecessary hope, pain, and excitement. Jiwoo had probably forgotten all about it, yet here he was, stewing in his feelings. That infuriated him.

Bzzz.

Noeul checked his phone. A message from Joonki.

[Did you have fun?]

Noeul stared at the screen as another message followed.

Bzzz.

[I remember Jiwoo saying she didn’t like games.]

Bzzz.

[Do you think Jiwoo might like you?]

“Ha.”

Is he doing this on purpose?

Joonki knew there was no way Jiwoo liked Noeul. Was he trying to provoke Noeul into making a fool of himself by giving him false hope? So that Jiwoo would end up hating him, and Noeul would realize his place?

Noeul wasn’t in the mood to reply. He knew responding while feeling this emotional could lead to a mistake. Slipping his phone back into his pocket, he headed home.

***

“Hey!”

Jiwoo nudged Noeul’s shoulder as they walked down the hallway.

Noeul glanced at her. “What?”

“You’re heading to General Studies, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Sit with me.”

“Why?”

“My seatmate is sick today. It’s boring sitting alone.”

Jiwoo nudged Noeul’s arm again playfully. Noeul walked into the lecture hall without a word, Jiwoo trailing behind him. She headed to the back of the room.

Noeul said, “I need to sit up front. My eyesight is bad. Sorry.”

Without waiting for Jiwoo to respond, Noeul strode to the front row and took a seat. The empty spot next to Jiwoo was quickly filled by someone else. Jiwoo sat there for a moment, staring at Noeul’s back.

Eventually, the professor entered the lecture hall and started the class.