I Fell in Love With My Tomboy Friend’s Avatar

<Aim towards your ideal, Gun Tales!>

<Towards your ideal…>

<Your…>

“Why isn’t she logging in?”

Eunho had gone back to Gun Tales after he got home. As if entranced, he’d pressed the monitor button with his fingernail and logged into the game. Without being consciously aware of it, he kept checking the friends window. He even repeatedly turned it on and off, wondering if there was an error.

“Did she just log in that one time?”

Eunho opened the friends window once again. He sent a whisper to a guild friend who knew both Jeongwon and Eunho.

<Graze: Hey Hosu, have you seen Ruby?>

<Graze: Why isn’t she logging in?>

In response, Hosu replied, <You crazy bastard knock it off>

<Hosu: You’re acting like a total stalker>

“No, fuck! What did I do wrong?!

Eunho slammed his desk.

<Graze: No, fuck, I’m just asking because I’m curious>

<Graze: Because I saw her yesterday>

Eunho sent the rapidly typed reply. After a few minutes of silence, Hosu’s delayed response arrived.

<Hosu: This is pathetic fuck>

Eunho planted his forehead on the keyboard.

“This is so frustrating, fuck…”

There was no way a proper answer would come to Eunho. He was too widely known as Ruby’s superfan and personal doormat. Frustration spurred him to lift his head.

“…I really was crazy…”

He recalled those times when he would go on dungeon dates with Ruby. Eunho would kill monsters with his flashy skills while Ruby sat and watched. Then, he would give all the fashion items he farmed to Ruby, steadily save up game money, and even spend real money trying to buy Ruby the Twilight Ring…

“I really had no self respect, did I?”

When he thought about it, Ruby always just took things. As Eunho felt indignation surface, a second, strange sensation arose too.

“I called her ‘this asshole’ just now.”

Eunho giving Ruby the title of “this asshole?” He could never have imagined it. It shouldn’t be possible. Moreover, Eunho was now feeling ’indignant’ towards Ruby.

It was an emotion he could only feel when thinking of Ruby as Jeongwon. Eunho realized anew that Ruby had truly died in his heart, leaving only Jeongwon behind.

“Fuck, but right now I…”

That wasn’t completely true. More than just Jeongwon must remain if Eunho was looking for Ruby in order to talk to Jeongwon. The situation had reversed. He barely recognized his current self, wandering around in search of Jeongwon rather than Ruby.

Eunho realized he was actually about to stay up all night trying to find Jeongwon. Disturbed, he turned off Gun Tales.

Staying up all night looking for Jeongwon? What am I doing? It’ll work out one way or another. I don’t need to be going to such extreme lengths.

He spread out his blanket and slipped inside. He tossed and turned, rubbed at his eyes, and tried to find a comfortable position.

Ah seriously, why can’t I sleep.

As his thoughts continued to roil, Eunho even tried physically hitting the back of his neck, but sleep still evaded him. In the end, he only managed a few hours of sleep.

Eunho arrived at the lecture hall the following morning, he thought he must have fallen asleep on the walk over. Or perhaps he was still dreaming.

“Nooo, that’s not it…”

That voice… was Ruby’s voice.

Eunho seized and yanked open the lecture hall door. The bang made Jeongwon and their classmates jump, looking back at Eunho in surprise.

“Ah, you startled me…”

Jeongwon… Jeongwon was speaking in Ruby’s voice.

What did I just hear?

It must be a terrible dream—this couldn’t be happening. Just when he had finally managed to bury Ruby in his heart, Jeongwon dug up her grave and resurrected her from the dead.

Resurrection—that was something that absolutely shouldn’t happen at a funeral.

“Jeong—” Eunho’s startled attempt to call out to Jeongwon was quickly drowned out.

“Jeongwon, you’re so cute!”

The classmates hovering around Jeongwon were all talking over each other as they grabbed at Jeongwon’s cheeks.

“Aww, so cute. Why didn’t we realize how cute Jeongwon was until now?”

Eunho’s legs shook beneath him. Jeongwon was receiving affection from every direction, just like Ruby had.

Cu—cute?

Jeongwon wasn’t Ruby. She wasn’t the pink-haired, blue-eyed, big-chested, beautiful healer. She was just Jeongwon speaking in Ruby’s voice. And yet, all their classmates were swarming her and fussing over her performance.

Is this real?

Eunho looked at Jeongwon’s face, his expression disbelieving. When their eyes met, Jeongwon blinked a few times, embarrassment ghosting across her features. She carefully averted her gaze, looking more awkward with each passing second.

Is this actually real, fuck.

Eunho struck his own cheek with his fist. From the crowd around Jeongwon, he heard voices muttering about his weird, self-abusive behavior.

Ruby’s voice, his classmates’ adoration, the fist that hit his cheek. It was all real.

It wasn’t a dream.

***

“Jeongwon—What the hell is she doing? Did she eat something expired? How can a normal person make that kind of voice? What the hell is her vocal cord structure? Is she sane? Did Conan shoot her with a tranquilizer from behind? Is it a voice modulator?”

Eunho had grabbed the passing Seokjun after hearing Jeongwon’s little stunt and began to rant and rave.

“Eunho, you bastard. Say one thing at a time. My ears are going to explode!” Seokjun yelled, clapping his hands to his ears. Hand still pressed tightly to the sides of his head, Seokjun stared into space, lips parting slightly in shock.

“Oh my god. I think I can’t hear… I’ve gone deaf…”

“Seokjun Kim, shut up and listen,” Eunho snapped in frustration. “Isn’t Jeongwon being weird? Why is she acting like that?”

“Oh wait, no, I can hear. False alarm.”

Jeongwon must have finally gone crazy. The person who had been so anxious about her online alter ego being discovered had suddenly started acting like Ruby in public! Hadn’t Jeongwon agreed to hold a funeral and send her off? Why had she decided to ignore this social agreement out of the blue?

Seokjun, picking his ear, casually interrupted Eunho’s rant. “Why are you so bothered? She is cute.”

Eunho was taken aback. “Did she pay you a fortune or something?”

“A fortune teller told me that I have a lot of rocks in my future.

“What—What kind of fortune is rocks, you idiot.”

Seokjun lazily pushed Eunho away. “No, she’s cute. Everyone likes it too. Her face was kind of wasted on her until now. That cutesy way of speaking matches her appearance better.

“What…”

“We’re witnessing the unique transformation of our province’s beauty queen. What did our school festival booth team decide to do? We should ask the Taekwondo department to do a maid cafe.”

Was Seokjun seriously imagining Jeongwon in a maid outfit right now?

Now Eunho was imagining it. Jeongwon saying, “Welcome home, master.” Jeongwon saying,” Can I serve you, master?” Jeongwon running over when he rang the bell saying, “Did you call for meee?”

“Fuuuuuck!”

Eunho slammed the table, thinking the whole world had clearly gone mad. Was it something in the air? Was it global warming? He couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Jeongwon Yoo, what the hell are you doing? Are you in your right mind?”

“Hmm?” Jeongwon tilted her head, as if the babyish sound alone wasn’t detestable enough. “What’s wong?”

“What’s “wong?” What’s wong?! Why are you doing this? Are you two years old?!” Eunho yelled. Jeongwon’s lips formed a perfect little pout and Eunho felt as if the air had been stolen from his lungs.

“Fucking capitalism,” Eunho mumbled under his breath, stepping back. “Karl Marx would never allow this.” He needed to get out of here right now.

Something’s not right… How is no one finding her baby act weird? What timeline is this… What alternate reality have I been sucked into…

Eunho ran out of the lecture hall, leaving Jeongwon behind. He leaned against the doorframe to catch his breath. He must have been accidentally sucked into some other dimension and entered a different version of Earth.

“Eunho what are you doing?” Hayan asked, having barely arrived to class on time. She took stock of his expression. “Did you see a ghost?

“Hey, Hayan, you… you… look at the lecture hall.”

Hayan tipped her head and opened the lecture hall door. Inside, she saw Jeongwon, still putting on her show. It was unbelievable.

Hayan hummed as she watched. “What’s wrong?

“What’s wr—you don’t see a problem with that?” Eunho demanded. “Why is Jeongwon Yoo acting like some kind of anime catgirl? Please tell me, what year is it?

“What are you talking about,” Hayan laughed. “It’s 2024.” She squinted, watching Jeongwon curl her fingers into cat paws and knead the air, much to the delight of her audience. Hayan leaned against the wall. “She’s cute. But… I think Jeongwon’s previous self was better.”

Hayan turned her head to smile warmly at Eunho. “That was more like the real Jeongwon.”

Hayan closed the door.

***

…Everyone… likes it.

Jeongwon looked at herself in a department store bathroom mirror. Her cheeks had gone red from so many hands clutching at them. Inspecting her reflection, Jeongwon carefully arranged her short bob with her fingers.

…Am I really…. cute?

Jeongwon stared intently at her face. If she looked closely, it seemed like there might be some charming features there. Would all their classmates unanimously lie to her like that if it wasn’t true? It didn’t seem likely.

Should have… acted like this earlier.

Jeongwon washed her hands thoroughly. As she dried them with paper towels, she thought about what her life would have been like if she’d begun acting like Ruby sooner. If she’d done as she pleased from the beginning, she wouldn’t have had to suffer like she did until now.

Everyone says I’m cute, pretty…

Compliments really did play a big role in self-esteem. From the lecture hall to the department store, Jeongwon walked with her chest puffed out through the entire way. Everyone found her attractive and lovely. Everyone gave her compliments whenever they made eye contact.

Except Eunho Ju.

…Why is he the only problem again?

She thought if everyone viewed her as cute, Eunho would have no choice but to acknowledge it too. If every single person said Jeongwon was cute, and only Eunho said otherwise, then that meant it was Eunho’s problem.

How could Eunho alone contradict popular opinion? He’d run away as soon as he saw Jeongwon’s face. It seemed like he was just grumbling behind her back, rather than confronting her directly.

Plus why with Hayan…

Eunho was still frequenting the PC cafe with Hayan, and it seemed they’d even started going to and from school together. Whenever Jeongwon saw them whispering to each other, without even looking her way, uncontrollable spite rose within her.

To be fair, Eunho was weird from the start. It was weird that he said Ruby was fine but I wasn’t.

Jeongwon found herself hating Eunho the longer she pondered, recalling everything from recent events to very old ones. Eunho was a strange person. Jeongwon felt like poison was gradually building up inside her body.

Eunho is the crazy one.

A desire regarding Eunho started rising—a desire to crush him.

So Jeongwon left the department store bathroom. She entered a reasonably priced store and picked clothes that would likely be the most popular.

“I’ll wear these starting now.”

She remembered these clothes. A white frilly skirt, and a shirred blouse with puff sleeves.

It seemed like a lifetime ago that she’d gone clothes shopping with Eunho, yet she remembered him briefly picking up these exact items. When she asked if they would suit her, Eunho had firmly rejected the idea.

“Huh? Those absolutely wouldn’t work on you, even if you died.”

They were clothes that Jeongwon hadn’t even considered because of Eunho. Now, Jeongwon put them on in the fitting room and looked in the mirror.

It’s fine, it’s fine.

Jeongwon took a taxi straight to the university. Since there was still some time, Eunho would be in the lecture hall. Or he might be in the department room. She checked the lecture hall first but couldn’t see him. Next, she went to his department room’s door.

There he is.

She found Eunho sitting on the department room sofa playing games on his phone, just like the last time she’d been here. Jeongwon had to force herself to put one foot in front of the other until she stood in front of Eunho. He glanced up at her and went pale.

“…You—Wh—what—” Flustered, Eunho pointed a finger at her, words failing him.

Jeongwon squeezed her eyes shut.

Come on, Ruby.

It felt like the vengeful spirits of all the fashion items she had scammed Eunho out of were coming to haunt her.

Jeongwon gathered her ultimate skill… and placed both fists under her chin.

“Eun-y, buy me tanghulu pleaaase.”

This was her power move: dressing in a frilly white skirt, cropped, ruffled blouse, with her hair in a flower shape, and asking for a candied fruit skewer in a baby voice.

“Ta—tang—”

Eunho mumbled, blinking up at Jeongwon with a bewildered expression.

“Ta—tang—tang—tang—tang—”

Like a broken record, Eunho couldn’t seem to move past that one syllable.