I Fell in Love With My Tomboy Friend’s Avatar

…Why is this bastard acting like that?

Jeongwon examined Eunho’s face. His flushed face went from scarlet to white, like someone on the verge of death.

“Hey, Eunho…” she began, straightening up.

Before more words could come out, Eunho scrambled from his seat and ran away. He kept his mouth clamped shut and seemed desperate not to look in Jeongwon’s direction as he escaped the department room.

…Is he shocked?

Eunho didn’t get angry, nor did he show any comprehensible reaction. He just ran away like he’d seen a ghost. Jeongwon thought about trying again the next day, but that plan never came to fruition.

“Eunho didn’t come?”

“He said he’s really sick. He was saying something about not having enough friends to carry his coffin.”

“That serious?”

Eunho wasn’t in the classroom when they arrived. By the time the lecture ended, Eunho still hadn’t shown up, so Jeongwon caught Seokjun to ask him.

Seokjun, his face slightly pink, showed Jeongwon his KakaoTalk conversation with Eunho.

Eunhobo: My fever is 39 degrees

Seokjun: Then how are you texting? You’re such a drama queen

Eunhobo: Does having a 39 degree fever melt your fingers? FFS

It went up to 39 degrees…?

Eunho hadn’t seemed unwell yesterday. Although it didn’t show on her face, Jeongwon couldn’t stop ruminating on yesterday’s events.

…He couldn’t have gotten sick because of my tanghulu thing, right?

Eunho was fine until he heard Jeongwon’s cutesy request. In fact, Jeongwon remembered him practically flying around the classroom while talking with Seokjun.

Then suddenly, after hearing Jeongwon’s babyish words, he turned deathly pale and disappeared. Jeongwon was starting to wonder if perhaps her cuteness was some kind of necromancer skill that drained people’s energy.

Is it really because of me? Maybe not the cuteness, but because of the Ruby voice? Did he get a fever because he was so upset hearing Ruby?

Whether he was distressed by Ruby, or whether he hated the Ruby voice so much that it gave him a high fever, Jeongwon became consumed by the thought that Eunho’s condition was because of her.

The Ruby voice… Does he despise it that much? Everyone else says they like it… Why is he the only one who hates it?

To check her theory, Jeongwon tapped Seokjun

“Seokjunnieee,” she cooed.

“Awwww.”

He predictably melted under the power of her Ruby voice. Jeongwon rubbed her chin.

The others really do find it cute. Even the stoic Seokjun Kim reacts like this… Then was Eunho joking? Or does he really genuinely hate it? What if he wasn’t trying to torment me, but cursed at me because the Ruby act was a bad look on me?

She strode past Seokjun, who looked as though he’d been hit by a bus. When she’d put enough distance between them, Jeongwon leaned against the wall.

…He really did hate it…

Jeongwon naturally thought that Eunho was deliberately interfering to obstruct her path forward. It was impossible that Eunho alone didn’t find it cute when everyone else did. Even with differences in taste, humans can distinguish between fundamental beauty and ugliness.

But what if that wasn’t it? What if Eunho genuinely disliked Jeongwon?

“Jeongwon is dressed cute today too!”

Her classmates, who must have eaten breakfast together, came rushing in and began exclaiming in delight upon seeing Jeongwon’s face.

I am cute and pretty.

Jeongwon felt like she was now used to hearing those words, having heard them so frequently as of late.

I am cute, everyone likes me. But Eunho… genuinely hates me. He thinks I’m not pretty.

Jeongwon bounced her leg anxiously. She folded her arms, still pressed against the wall, and tried to organize her thoughts.

Then… telling me to be a campus model was a lie too.

It felt like all strength was leaving her body. Jeongwon slid down the wall she was leaning on.

When he told me to be a campus model… he was just using me to get to Hayan.

Eunho had desperately tried to convince Jeongwon to do it, saying she was pretty and that she should go to the campus model audition because she was attractive.

How hard must it have been. How difficult must it have been to force out words he didn’t mean in order to persuade her.

I guess he wanted Hayan to be a campus model that badly.

She thought of Eunho, constantly hanging around with Hayan lately. Hayan, who was popular for being the most beautiful girl in the department—no, the most beautiful girl in the school, and probably the most beautiful in the region.

After using Jeongwon to get Hayan into the campus model audition, did Eunho manage to use the opportunity to cozy up to her? Using Jeongwon as a sacrifice?

“Jeongwon, your clothes are so nice today! So cute! But why are you sitting on the floor? Your clothes will get dirty.”

A classmate looking down at Jeongwon’s white dress reached out to help her up. Unable to even think about dusting off the back of the dress, Jeongwon replied gloomily, “Yeah… It’s okay…”

“What’s wrong? Why are you so down? Where did all your adorable energy go?”

The classmate cupped Jeongwon’s face and squeezed at her cheeks. It did nothing to improve her attitude. She shook her head.

“I’m not going to do that anymore… I’m sick of it.”

***

I knew this already, so why am I so bothered by it?

Jeongwon sat at a table in the campus cafe. Taking out a cat-shaped notebook, she began writing with a matching, cat-eared pen.

Eunho Ju thinks I’m ugly.

This is something I already knew.

Jeongwon bit the inside of her lip and drew a line under the written fact. She focused on keeping it straight, repressing her emotions.

“Why did he give me hope?”

Jeongwon threw the pen onto the notebook. This was all Eunho’s fault.

“Why did you give me hope?” she whispered again.

Eunho, who had never once told her she was pretty in his life, had feigned sincerity and tried to persuade Jeongwon to bend to his will by telling her what she wanted to hear.

Jeongwon foolishly believed it at face value. Even knowing Eunho wasn’t someone to be trusted, she’d wanted to believe it.

Eunho Ju deceived Jeongwon Yoo.

“Bastard.”

The curse wasn’t just directed at Eunho. She was also reprimanding herself, for believing something so nonsensical without any deeper thought.

Ding.

Jeongwon glanced down at her phone. It was a notification from the female Taekwondo department members’ group chat..

Taekwondo Haeun Song: Sharing the selfie I took with Jeongwon earlier

Taekwondo Haeun Song: Felt like this should be shared for world peace

Taekwondo Jiye Min: Oh Lord thank you

Even scrolling further up, the group chat was completely filled with praises for Jeongwon.

Taekwondo Minji Park: I should have given birth to Jeongwon

Taekwondo Haeun Song: If you gave birth to her, that face wouldn’t come out

Taekwondo Minji Park: Haeun wanna fight?

But the compliments weren’t enjoyable anymore. It wasn’t entertaining. Despite being words Jeongwon had wanted to hear her whole life, they didn’t make her feel any better.

Broadcasting Content Dohan Lee: Hi Jeongwon I’m in the same liberal arts class as you do you know me? haha

Jeongwon quietly swiped to delete the message.

Business Seobin Han: Hello I’m Seobin Han. I did the group project with you in liberal arts class last semester. I feel like I’ll regret it if I don’t say this so I recovered your contact to message—

A wall of text followed, but Jeongwon simply erased it. Whether men in reality or men in games, there was no difference in how they flocked to attractive women. Perhaps that was why their praise didn’t feel sincere. It was just flirting.

It’s not like they want to spend eternity with me. They just want to use me once—go on a date once, spend the night with me once.

They were no different from Ruby fanboys in the Gun Tales. The praise didn’t satisfy Jeongwon’s heart. No matter how much she heard it, it didn’t resolve her loneliness or emptiness.

“…Should I play a game?”

Suddenly she remembered the game Hayan and Eunho were playing.

“Light… something or other.”

Games were most suitable for filling an empty heart. But if Jeongwon went into Gun Tales, they would be busy trying to please Ruby fans.

“Should I ask to play with them?”

Jeongwon wished it was that simple—that the three of them could just game together. But now, she felt lonely and empty. She sighed, feeling the powerful sensation of reality hitting her.

Just then, she looked up. There was Eunho, walking to the classroom outside the cafe.

“…Didn’t he say 39 degrees?”

He must have gotten drastically better for his complexion to have improved so much. Jeongwon squeezed her eyes shut then opened them.

I’ll try again.

She figured it might be best to casually walk up to Eunho as if nothing was wrong. She was sick of imitating Ruby, and also didn’t want to remain in this sullen state. She just wanted to act like nothing happened. So Jeongwon got up from her seat, as if it was just another day.

“Hey, your fever was really—”

Before she could finish, Eunho shrieked. His face went corpse-like again as he jumped in shock and bolted.

“…What?”

She hadn’t spoken in Ruby’s voice. She hadn’t used cute expressions either. But Eunho ran the moment he saw Jeongwon’s face.

“…Eun—Eunho!”

Jeongwon still didn’t give up. She tried speaking to Eunho several times when they met in the classroom, but the result was the same. He kept avoiding her as if she was a ghost.

“…What’s up with you? What is going on inside your head?”

It must not have been a psychological state of disliking or mocking Jeongwon. Eunho clearly seemed to be afraid of Jeongwon, like he’d learned some kind of forbidden knowledge about her.

***

“So this midterm exam will be a group project, and we’ll be forming groups today. I’d like to just tell you to form groups of three or four on your own but…”

The class stared back at the teaching assistant in front of them.

“Thinking about how my inbox pinging all night with people saying they have no friends and couldn’t find a group… It’s better to suffer now.”

The teaching assistant held a hand to their forehead and looked around. Evidently, the professor had instructed their assistant to just form groups today and send everyone home quickly.

“I’ll just divide you by tables. No complaints, all right?”

In the wake of their TA’s cynical voice, students began peering around at their surroundings. Their fate was about to be determined by who they’d sat down next to today.

“Okay everyone, don’t move seats. I’m going to assign groups now. Students sitting at this table, tell me your names before you go.”

The TA methodically worked their way through the classroom, pointing at students and writing names on paper. Even as groups were being decided one by one, some students were still peeking around the room. A few of them were discreetly trying to change seats.

Eunho was, of course, one of them.

I’m fucked, shit.

When he’d lifted his head to examine his table, Eunho almost screamed. He had discovered Jeongwon sitting at the same table, albeit at opposite ends.

If this pattern continues… If it continues…

Eunho subconsciously leapt to his feet. The TA looked up from writing down student names and frowned.

“I said don’t move seats.”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!” Eunho screeched in response.

“Wh—what!”

Completely ignoring the TA’s stammering, Eunho scrambled away, like someone who had seen a ghost or cockroach, and threw himself into one of the remaining seats.

As long as he was away from Jeongwon, that was all that mattered. He sighed in relief and looked over at his new desk-mate.

“What are you doing?”

The random seat he had taken was at Hayan’s table. She was clearly trying to hold back laughter.

“…What just happened?” the TA asked, dumbfounded. Eunho’s classmates were now staring intently at him. Not only had he suddenly jumped up from his seat, shrieking, and run away, but he had seemingly run away to sit next to the department’s goddess.

Hayan leaned close to Eunho and whispered quietly, “If you were going to do that, you should have sat here from the start.” Her amused voice tickled Eunho’s ear.

***

Jeongwon watched this whole situation unfold right before her eyes. Most of the students sitting in this classroom probably wouldn’t understand Eunho’s true intention.

That… that bastard…

Except for Jeongwon.

Anger boiled up from inside her stomach. Rage from an unknown source.