I Fell in Love With My Tomboy Friend’s Avatar

“Are you crazy? What's with those clothes, Jeongwon? Did you maybe wear that to run faster?”

Jeongwon remembered the white frilly skirt she had mustered up the courage to ask her parents to buy when she was very young—in elementary school. She’d hung that outfit on a hanger the night before, anticipating the next day with nervous excitement. But the moment she arrived at school wearing the skirt, she ran straight into Eunho. He pointed at Jeongwon's skirt.

“You could probably run really fast with it fluttering around, Jeongwon. But it really doesn’t look good on you.”

Jeongwon held her frilly skirt tightly with both hands as his words sank in. She wanted to argue back, but the words died in her throat as other kids joined in.

“Wow, Jeongwon. That skirt is way too much.”

“I've never seen someone look so bad in a skirt, it's hilarious.”

“Did you accidentally put that on this morning?”

Everyone spent the day pointing and laughing at the ruffled skirt. Jeongwon pretended nothing was wrong. She prepared for each class, attended her lessons, and ate her meals.

And when she returned home, Jeongwon cried for the rest of the day. She buried her face in her pillow and wailed. She took scissors to the frilly skirt she had dreamed of wearing, knowing she would never wear it again. She was so angry at herself for crying because of someone like Eunho Ju. She was furious that she couldn't handle that one pointing finger and that she’d ended up destroying the skirt she’d wanted so badly. So the next day at school, she poured her energy into beating Eunho, both physically and verbally.

“Isn't Eunho an idiot?” she scoffed. “He can't even use scissors properly.”

She acted as if things were completely normal.

“Ah, shit. Won't you get lost? You're in the way, Eunho.”

But it still didn't satisfy her. Because young Jeongwon knew deep inside, this one memory meant she would never be able to wear skirts again.

Are you the only one who's angry, you crazy bastard?

“Ruby, Ruby.”

She watched Eunho cry out and call Ruby’s name in front of her. Jeongwon had built up so many grudges against Eunho over the years—someone who had tormented her since childhood.

Even beyond that, Eunho wasn't the only one who felt deceived.

Which one of them had been pretending to be gentle, pretending to be kind, pretending to be a wonderful person?

The Eunho she met as Ruby was the most caring person among the guild members. Someone who always helped and looked after Ruby. She was disgusted and irritated with herself for having relied on this false version of Eunho.

She thought he really had changed, and become a nice person. She’d genuinely counted him as one of her friends, but he turned out to be a complete psycho bastard. She felt wronged, angry, and wanted to cry too.

“You idiot Eunho Ju, no one is killing anybody. You should have figured it out in the first place. How is this all my fault?”

As Eunho lost his mind in front of her, Jeongwon pulled out her ultimate weapon.

“Who was the one happily giving everything away like an idiot?” she asked in Ruby’s saccharine voice. “And now you blame Ruby, huh?”

Eunho’s face turned pale.

“Graze, you actually believed you were relying on equipment and grinding? Don't you remember how Ruby had to constantly heal you from behind because you're so bad at the game?”

If she shattered his pride now, he might be too broken to show his face in Gun Tales ever again.

“You probably drove yourself crazy, convincing yourself that you loved me as a person, just because of this voice and my avatar, right Eunho?” Ruby’s voice cut out and Jeongwon’s lower register took over. “Wake up, that person was Jeongwon Yoo.”

The smooth transition between Ruby’s babyish tone and Jeongwon’s true voice was a double edged sword to Eunho’s fake reality.

“You thought you could fool me if you lowered your voice, pretending to be a gentleman? Do you have any idea how hard it was to stomach that disgusting persona every time we voice chatted?”

She could see tears welling up in Eunho's eyes. Still, Jeongwon couldn't stop.

“You pretend to be so kindhearted in the game, even though you bully and belittle real people in real life. Fucking hell it's so vile.”

Ruby’s angelic tone returned. “If Ruby had known that earlier, she wouldn't have hung around with a useless piece of trash like you, right?”

Eunho trembled but couldn't say anything. He just listened in silence, his face burning red.

“I—no—Ruby really fucking hated being with you too. I'm glad I found out like this at least. My ancestors must have been watching out for me, seriously.”

Jeongwon glared at Eunho, half triumphant and half still boiling with anger, before standing up.

“You idiot.”

She ran out, leaving the frozen Eunho behind. As Jeongwon fled towards home, there was only one thought in her mind.

I'm screwed…

***

Jeongwon let out a short, humorless laugh. “Shit. What should I do…”

She’d said everything she shouldn't have—venting frustrations built up over ten years. Jeongwon had screamed and buried her face in her bed as soon as she arrived home.

“What if he spreads this everywhere?”

Jeongwon took out her phone with shaking fingers and searched the community of Gun Tales users.

There weren't any posts up yet, but if Eunho wanted to, he could easily post something like “The Truth About Highly Ranked User Ruby.”

Or he might spread it to all their former classmates—that Jeongwon Yoo pretended to be a normal tomboyish girl while acting cute and lovable behind everyone's back.

“What should I do…”

She shouldn't have given Eunho leverage. She shouldn't have upset him.

The existence of Ruby would clearly follow Jeongwon for decades. Jeongwon was wailing into her pillow when she suddenly lifted her head.

“Why the hell do I have to care about what that bastard thinks?”

Tears nearly welled up as sadness overtook her anger and frustration.

Ever since she was very young, and attending the same school as Eunho, Jeongwon had given up everything she wanted to do, wanted to wear, wanted to have. All because of that “it doesn’t look good on you” comment.

So she wanted to do what she wanted to do, wear what she wanted to wear.

What was so wrong with that? What was more, she was only doing it in a game! Jeongwon kicked her blanket in frustration again and again.

“Eunho Ju, you bastard!”

She grabbed the blanket and threw it at the door in anger. Everything was Eunho's fault.

If Eunho hadn't made that comment from the start, she wouldn’t have to live vicariously through a game avatar. And even if she did, who cared? It wasn’t as if she was hurting anybody.

It was Eunho's fault for randomly deciding that Ruby was some incredibly beautiful and ethereal being. In what world was it Jeongwon’s fault that he hadn’t realized who was behind the cute little avatar?

Jeongwon jumped up from her bed and turned on the computer.

“Why should I care what Eunho thinks?”

Jeongwon had the right to do what she wanted. She was no longer the young teenager who could be affected by Eunho’s mockery.

Jeongwon boldly logged on to Gun Tales. She gulped as the screen loaded.

For now, she decided to act shamelessly. What could Eunho possibly say about her having a hobby she enjoyed?

“…If he logs in and says something… No, no. Then I'll just play politics. I'm Ruby after all.”

If Eunho tried to spread rumors in the game, Jeongwon could just beat him to it.

There were already people who didn't like the fact that Eunho was close to Ruby. After all, she was practically an idol in Gun Tales.

If she made the first move, Eunho would have no choice but to quit Gun Tales. If he quit and told their former classmates about this, however…

“I'll think about that when the time comes.”

Now wasn't the time to be Jeongwon. She selected a crowded channel and put on her headset. Jeongwon cleared her throat, watching guild members rushing in as soon as Ruby appeared. Then, she turned on voice chat.

“Hello, my dears!” she sang.

A wave of guild members’ chat messages came flooding in.

<Long time no see!>

<Did something happen?>

Even the guild master's voice came through her headset, thick with concern.

“Ruby, are you okay? Why haven't you logged in for so long?”

<Ruby, you said you wanted the Moonlight Set? I got it from a box, want it?>

<Anyone want to do daily quests together? Ruby, want to join?>

Everyone reacted as if they had been waiting for Ruby to show up. Jeongwon felt satisfaction slink through her chest as she scanned the messages.

Yes, this felt right. Jeongwon let her body relax as she took hold of her mouse.

“Ah, Guild Master. I'm super duper sorry about disconnecting last time. Oh, the Moonlight Set? I would love—”

Her words got stuck. Eunho was logging in.

“Um, yeah… So…”

She had to be bold. Jeongwon hadn't done anything wrong after all.

She just needed to act so confident that even Eunho would be taken aback. Jeongwon gritted her teeth and resumed talking with the guild master.

“Ruby.” It was Eunho, calling her avatar’s name.

Was he going to say it now? That Ruby was actually a lying tomboy? A crazy woman who just steals other people's affection?

How should she respond to make people take Ruby's side?

Jeongwon anxiously chewed on her finger calluses. Should she cry first? Or should she say that bastard bullied her first? No, first she should say that Ruby didn't want to hang out with someone like him…

“Ruby, want to do daily quests together with me today?”

“…What? Uh, no. Huh?”

Jeongwon blinked slowly. Eunho had spoken to her normally.

He spoke in the same gentle and kind pretense as usual, lowering his voice. As if nothing had happened over the past few days

“Or do you want to do an exp dungeon today? That’s fine, just bring your alt character.”

“…Ah… Uhh, well. Today, I just wanna do daily quests…”

“Yeah? Let's do that then. Ruby, have you eaten? I just had dinner a little earlier.”

This crazy bastard… What's going on?

She continued to respond to Eunho in Ruby's voice, but quickly checked the chat window and mailbox. Eunho might try to blackmail her behind the scenes.

However, there were no whispers in the chat. There was no message from Eunho, and other guild members’attitudes hadn't changed either.

She picked up her phone to check the forum. There were no posts there either.

In fact, there was no contact from Eunho at all. He was just continuing to sweet-talk Ruby with his handsome voice.

“Ruby, did you change your lenses? Is that the strawberry ice color?”

“Y—yes… H—how did you know?”

“It suits you.” A baritone chuckle traveled through her headset.

Jeongwon watched the screen with trembling eyes.

“Is this bastard actually crazy?”

“What did you say, Ruby?”

“Oh no, it’s nothing, Graziepoo.”

***

“Ruby is so cute. Ruby is the best. Ruby's new lenses look so good on her too. This equipment set would suit Ruby well. Wow, shit. New items came in. She'd like it if I bought this for her.”

Eunho muttered to himself, staring at the glowing screen like an addict.

“Ruby, yes. Ruby is in Gun Tales so why did I think she was dead? Today is just like every other day, doing daily quests with Ruby, buying Ruby equipment at the shop, and also…”

Eunho had been so shell-shocked by his encounter with Jeongwon that he had simply elected to deny that any of it happened. How could someone so rough and crude be Ruby in the first place? How did he get so caught up in such a ridiculous idea?

“Jeongwon Yoo…? Who was that again?”

It had just been a nightmare. He’d been given a chance by heaven to fully understand just how precious Ruby was through some unknown woman named “Jeongwon Yoo.”

He should ask Ruby to officially date him in Gun Tales. Then he could give her the Twilight Diamond Ring.

Eunho stared at the screen with a sinister smile. Next to the minimized Gun Tales window, the PC messenger window was flashing.

Jeongwon Yoo: Eunho Ju you crazy bastard

Jeongwon Yoo: What are you thinking??

Jeongwon Yoo: Why are you acting like this???

Eunho quickly closed the messenger window when he saw how rapidly the notifications were rolling in.

“Is this phishing? Must be phishing. It sure has gotten advanced these days. How did they even know my real name?”

Eunho began laughing uncontrollably as he started organizing the stone experience dungeon list with Ruby.

“Ruby, we'll be together forever…”

Eunho had completely turned away from reality.