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“Graze, do you want this big, scary sword? My pet found it earlier. I'll give it to you!”
Ruby's small, cute, and extremely expensive pet, Mallangi, had retrieved a legendary item called the Sword of Despair. It was a rare item with an absurdly low spawn rate, far too precious to give away to others.
“Grazie-wacie, this time I can do the dungeon run. I’ll pick up all those lovely items! Don’t you dare lift an itty bitty finger.”
Beyond giving away items, Ruby had suddenly become very considerate—offering to do the daily quests that required beating up monsters and collecting items until your fingers broke.
Every time it happened, Eunho would stutter, “R—really? You're giving this to me? How can I use something this valuable, Ruby? I'll lock it and keep it safely in storage.”
Or sometimes, he would shout, flustered with gratitude, “R—Ruby. You don't have to! Please let me do it. Let me take care of you.”
Even though he'd act thrilled by Ruby's consideration, he'd also beg her to let him do it instead.
Why is this guy acting exactly the same as usual?
The better Eunho’s reactions were, the more anxious Jeongwon felt. Eunho was loving and adoring, praising Ruby's every move as usual.
He seemed to have truly forgotten that the one sitting in the chair, acting as Ruby, was actually Jeongwon.
“G—Grazie, you are like…”
Jeongwon punched her thigh and forced herself deeper into the Ruby persona.
“Sweetheart? What is it? Should we go do a dungeon?”
“N—no.” Jeongwon tried again. “You are just such a deer.”
“Deer? You want me to buy you a pet deer?”
“Gwazie,” she pouted. “I didn’t finish yet.”
“Oh, sorry…”
Jeongwon bit the inside of her cheek and thrust the sickly sweet words from her throat. They came out in almost a shout.
“You’re a deer. You’re so super duper sweet and gentle. I wanted to tell you that you’re deer to my heart.” The pun was so bad she almost gagged.
The sound suddenly stopped from Eunho's side. Jeongwon watched his character on screen nervously. Surely he couldn't keep tricking himself like this. How could he so completely forget about Jeongwon and still be so invested in Ruby? No way could he take her words as genuine, knowing Jeongwon was hidden behind Ruby’s perfect face.
“Ruby…” he murmured. “I wish I really was a deer. Then I could cut off my worthless antlers and have them made into capsules for you. Even if they only improved your health the smallest bit, I wouldn't hesitate to break them off…”
Jeongwon had to push her chair back from the screen for a moment, and move her headset off her ears. It was kind of disgusting to hear him whispering sweet nothings into her ear, giggling as he did.
This crazy bastard… This fucking otaku bastard…
It was strange, though. Eunho was behaving like his usual simp self, responding to her acts of kindness, consideration, and baby talk with the typical gleeful giggles. How could nothing truly have changed?
What exactly is he thinking?
Jeongwon glared at Eunho's character on screen. The avatar remained motionless as Eunho’s distant voice continued to lavish praise on her. A sudden suspicion flickered to the forefront of her mind.
…Is he recording? Is he planning to spread this to everyone we know?
Jeongwon’s muscles tensed with anxiety. Maybe she shouldn’t have been laying on the cute baby talk so thickly. Her nails scraped along her thigh over and over. Attempting to salvage her position in the game was only causing unnecessary stress. Maybe she should have chosen to destroy Ruby instead.
“G—Grazie dear. Homework is soooo boring, should I show you something way more fun?”
“Something fun? What is it? Your face? My darling’s face is really fun to look at.”
“N—no…”
Did this guy attend some kind of obsession academy or something? Jeongwon put on a high pitched pout as a signal for him to shut up.
“I’m going to do a super cute impression.”
It was a test to see if he would react to hearing Jeongwon's voice instead of Ruby's.
“Pikaaah, ptui,” she ground out, mimicking the sound of a smoker spitting phlegm. It was Jeongwon's signature skill—an impression of Pikachu who turned to drinking and smoking because the battles were too traumatic. It was the kind of impression that made you wince just hearing it. In fact, Jeonwon’s ex-boyfriend broke up with her a week after she showed it to him.
Eunho's voice cut off like magic.
He can't handle that, right? Surely my real face is flashing before his eyes.
Jeongwon waited on tenterhooks for Eunho's response. Suddenly, Eunho's character started jumping up and down on-screen.
“W—what?”
“Ruby…”
The character ceased bouncing and started clapping instead. It was quite a sight to see the solemn-faced Graze applauding like a crazed fan at his favorite idol’s concert.
“Ruby, that was such an amazing impression. You’re so cute and clever! I already knew you were special, but what is GameFreak doing, not giving Pikachu a smoking setting right this instant? They should hire you!”
“Are you crazy?” Jeongwon barely managed to respond in Ruby's voice while biting the inside of her cheek. This guy was definitely insane. But Eunho didn't stop there. She watched as Graze whipped out a megaphone that could spread chat messages across all channels.
<Graze: Handing out Twilight Ring in channel 4>
“Twilight Ring” was the Twilight Diamond Ring—an expensive fashion item that couples dating in-game used to convey their sincerity. Graze’s announcement brought people flooding into channel 4, where Jeongwon and Eunho were. When enough people had gathered around Eunho, he paused for a moment then typed out a message.
<Graze: Sorry for the aggro, but listen to our Ruby's impression! It’s way better than a Twilight Ring.>
<Supreme Gangho: Crazy bastard!>
Curses began to fly left, right, and center through the chat. Some hurled combat skills right in the middle of town, saying “fuck you,” some whined saying they wouldn't leave until they got the Twilight Ring, some actually asked to hear the impression, and the rest reported Graze to the game admin.
“Graziepoo… Have you lost your cute little mind?” she asked, trying her best to maintain Ruby’s persona.
“Aww, is Ruby feeling shy? Such a cute impression should be shared. I just can't keep it to myself.”
“Gray-Gray, you're really crazy,” she managed.
“Why does even the word “crazy” sound so sweet when Ruby says it?” he sighed with a soft laugh.
Jeongwon wanted to punch Eunho in the face as she listened to that fake, gentlemanly voice. Something was wrong. Eunho didn't react at all, even when Ruby used Jeongwon's voice.
No, he actually loved it. Did he think Ruby was just revealing a deeper part of herself?
It made Jeongwon nervous. This wasn't like Eunho. The Eunho she knew wouldn't be able to resist exploiting Jeongwon's secret. It was obvious he would grab onto it and use it to torment her.
I’ve never met a bastard quite like Eunho Ju.
Could it be build-up to make the reveal even bigger? That could be his strategy; he could be attempting to lift Jeongwon up into the sky before dropping her to the ground.
It’s weird, so weird… Ah, I'm so fucking anxious, seriously.
Jeongwon couldn’t stop picking at her fingers. Blood formed in little beads. She felt certain that Eunho was almost definitely sharpening his knife to murder her socially, but instead, Eunho was just heaping compliments onto Ruby like a simpering idiot.
Jeongwon scoffed. “This isn’t going to work.”
She couldn't even enjoy Gun Tales anymore. The more she got involved with Eunho, the more worried she became and the more she wondered what kind of plot Eunho was scheming. The game she’d loved so much had become a minefield.
Of course, even if she quit the game, the result would be the same; fearing what Eunho would say behind her back. Jeongwon glared at Eunho's character on screen and thought, I guess I have no choice but to kill him…
***
“Ruby is Ruby. Ruby is fucking lovable and kind and cute. Ruby is Ruby. She's a data angel that doesn't exist in reality. Yes, absolutely. Ruby is the best.”
Eunho was muttering to himself as he walked, staring down at the ground. He really had become an otaku, fully invested in the game.
Although Eunho had no choice but to come to campus for lectures, it was clear his mind was full of only Ruby. It seemed that his love for Ruby had grown in order to separate her from Jeongwon. Eunho was now so obsessed with Ruby that it was hard to live in reality.
Regardless, reality would never leave people like Eunho alone.
“Hey, Eunho Ju.”
He couldn't avoid running into Jeongwon. Though she was in a different department, they still attended the same university. They were both heading in the direction of a large lecture hall, where a liberal arts class was being held. Jeonwon reached out and snagged Eunho’s arm.
“Let's talk for a moment,” she said.
She waited for Eunho to turn around. He remained frozen for a moment, with her hand still gripping his arm, before turning around with a look of surprise on his face.
“I don’t want to hear about your church, you lunatic,” he snapped.
“What the hell?” Jeongwon was irate. “Let's just talk for a moment.”
“You’re not going to convince me. Amen. Fucking hallelujah. I believe in the Lord,” he sneered, trying to tug his arm free.
“Your family is Buddhist, you psycho!”
“I'm a heretic. Who do you think you are? Why are you still talking to me?”
Eunho’s expression appeared truly uncomprehending. His gaze was oddly misaligned, looking at empty space rather than at Jeongwon. But it was definitely a face that didn't want to talk to her.
“Stop avoiding it and talk to me. What are you plotting, Eunho? Did you record something? Or did you take screenshots? Why are you acting like nothing happened? Show your true colors.”
“What does that even mean? The idea of true colors is too philosophical. How am I supposed to show them? Is this your doctrine?”
“This crazy bastard, seriously…” Jeongwon didn't have time to wrestle with Eunho in the middle of the lecture hall. “Let's go somewhere else.”
He did not respond.
“Now you're just ignoring me,” she said, exasperated. “Can't you hear me? Hello? Answer me!”
Jeongwon had no choice but to yank Eunho by his arm to a more private corner.
As she did, he kept shouting that he wouldn't believe her cult leader no matter how much she threatened him. Fortunately, the shut-in Eunho had become somewhat lighter, making it far easier to pull him.
Thinking this was the only way now, Jeongwon looked around and called Eunho’s avatar in Ruby's voice.
“Grazie.”
Eunho, who had been refusing to answer, suddenly turned his head and glared at Jeongwon. “Don't call my name with that voice.”
Jeongwon flinched at Eunho's venomous response. He shook Jeongwon's hand off, as if it were something unclean.
“That's not even your voice,” he growled.
Ruby's voice was Jeongwon's voice because it came out of her throat. If anything was artificial, it was the voice Jeongwon used in her daily life. She’d cultivated her tomboyish persona—down to a deepened voice—in her efforts to avoid the mockery that came with femininity.
Jeongwon frowned up at Eunho, unsure how to respond. Eunho stared down at her with eyes like steel, then he left without looking back. Jeongwon kicked the wall in frustration.
***
Jeongwon sat down at the school cafeteria with her usual fish roe rice.She was watching Eunho's back from afar as he chatted and laughed with his friends. Seen in this setting, he appeared to be a perfectly ordinary, popular guy.
He's actually lost it. He's completely separated me and Ruby.
When Jeongwon reflected on Eunho’s recent attitude and actions, she had been forced to conclude that his mind had split from reality after learning the truth about Ruby. He had compartmentalized Ruby as a beautiful, virtual girl (or goddess) who only existed in Gun Tales, and Jeongwon as just some forgettable, old classmate nobody.
Well, that's good for me.
If Eunho continued to cower in his invented reality and view Ruby and Jeongwon as completely separate entities, it was actually helpful. A sudden, tiny burst of happiness warmed Jeongwon’s chest. She could continue living part-time as Ruby. All she had to do was keep acting for Eunho, and she could keep playing her favorite game.
But why do I feel so shitty?
Jeongwon banged her spoon against the stone pot that held the fish roe rice, stirring the meal angrily. Something got caught on the spoon tip with a clinking sound and she sighed.
As Graze, Eunho acted all gentle, like he'd give Ruby his liver and gallbladder. Yet now, he had gone beyond the usual chivalry to worshipping Ruby.
Meanwhile, in reality, he completely ignores me. He even pretends not to know me. Honestly, at this point he seems to have actually forgotten who I am. I wanted to ignore him for so long, but… Why does he get to ignore me first? Are the past 15 years a joke to him?
Jeongwon shot a glare at Eunho's back while pressing down on her rice. She hadn’t even taken a bite, yet it somehow felt like something unpleasant was caught in her throat.
Fucking bastard. I hope you forget about your inventory being full while farming and end up destroying a rare item while trying to clear space. I hope you accidentally enter the wrong dungeon while trying to do a daily quest. I hope you die there and lose your reputation. I hope you enter the right dungeon for the daily quest but accidentally leave without picking up a single item. And I hope you used up all your dungeon entries so you waste your strength and fail to complete the daily quest.
Jeongwon cursed Eunho with all her might. But it still didn't clear her chest.
…Should I kill him?
The sensation of something being trapped inside her remained. Jeongwon thought that, when she got home and launched Gun Tales, she would challenge Eunho to a duel and order him in Ruby's voice to just stand still and take the hits.
Then he'd really let me hit him. Even if it means losing his reputation.
Thinking about Eunho's predictable response made her feel even more bloated and uncomfortable. The fish roe were crushed one by one under Jeongwon's spoon.

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