Runner-up's Revenge

“Dowon, so I…”

It was a peaceful weekend. Hana and Dowon were sharing some cake and chatting when Hana suddenly stopped talking. She was staring at Dowon’s phone.

He followed her gaze and groaned internally. “Ah, sorry…”

“Dahye again? Do you really need to take the call?” Hana asked. She kept her face terrifyingly blank. Dowon bit his lip, unable to respond, and then grabbed his phone and stood up.

“I’ll be back in a second.”

Dowon was making promises he couldn’t keep. Hana sat there, staring at the half-eaten cake. She stared at the strawberry Dowon had left for her on top. The strawberry slowly slid down, sinking into the whipped cream.

“Sorry, Hana. What were we talking about earlier?” Dowon said breathlessly when he finally returned.

“It’s been an hour.”

“Huh?”

“You said you’d be back soon, but it’s been an hour.”

Dowon pulled out his phone to check the time, feeling the blood leave his face. It hadn’t just been an hour—it had been an hour and twenty minutes.

“I’m sorry, really. I didn’t think it would take that long.”

“Did you not even realize how much time had passed?”

“Well, it’s not that, it’s just—”

Hana, seemingly unable to contain her anger, bowed her head. Dowon knew it meant she didn’t want to look at his face. He sat nervously in front of her, his head down, trying to gauge her mood.

“You’re taking this too far. You spent an hour on the phone while you were with me.”

“Hana, I’m really sorry. Dahye was having a rough day today…”

“I’m not feeling great either.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I…”

“I said I’m not feeling great, you crazy bastard! How can you act like this?!” Hana suddenly screamed. Her hands snapped out and shoved Dowon. He felt a chill run down his spine. This was Hana’s warning sign. Her eyes, now bloodshot, glared at him.

“If this is how it’s going to be, why are you even with me? You might as well go live with Dahye and listen to her every day! Just talking on the phone must be torturous for you. Go on, go to Dahye so you can hear her better!”

“Hana, no, it’s not like that. I want to be with you, really—”

“Don’t lie! Someone who wants to be with me wouldn’t spend an hour on the phone! Tell the truth. You miss her, don’t you?”

Hana’s hands stopped battering his shoulder and her yelling became a scream. She buried her face in her hands.

“No, no. Please, don’t go to Dahye. I can’t live without you…”

“Hana… I’m not going anywhere. Why would I leave?”

“Am I less fun than Dahye? Huh? Is that why you keep talking to her? What should I do to be better?”

Dowon tried to comfort her, shaking his head quickly, a cold sweat running down his back. Hana, who had been watching him with teary eyes, extended her hand.

“Give me your phone.”

Dowon handed over his phone helplessly. Hana checked the settings, biting her lip. She began chewing her finger as she scrolled through the phone.

“You called her yesterday too? Why did you talk for two hours yesterday? Huh? So you tried to keep it short today when you were with me? Were you feeling unsatisfied? Do you talk to her while I’m sleeping too? What do you even talk about? Do you talk about me? That I’m boring and you want to stop seeing me, something like that?”

Blood started to seep from between Hana’s lips and her nails. When Dowon reached out to grab her hand, she pulled away, thinking he was trying to reclaim his phone.

“I want to hear it. You always have the auto-record function on during calls, right?”

Hana shook off Dowon’s hand, turned on the recording function, and pressed her ear against the phone to listen.

“So when I said that to my boss…”

“You had every right to feel upset, Dahye. But I think it’s amazing that you can express your opinions like that…”

Hana’s expression hardened.

“You two sound really close. What’s going on between you two?”

“Hana. What could there be between us? You saw it before, right? We’re not even really friends, we barely—”

“People who ‘barely know each other’ don’t have conversations for hours every day.”

Tears began welling back up in Hana’s eyes as she stared accusingly at Dowon.

“So that’s why you didn’t want to marry me. I’m sorry for being so boring, all right? I’ll do better, so please, just forgive me, okay?”

“Hana, there’s nothing to forgive. Please, Hana, listen to me. You’re being—”

“Then why won’t you marry me? It has to be because of Dahye. Since when?”

Dowon made a sound of frustration. Something seemed off about Hana. It felt like the outburst was coming to a head, but Dowon had no idea what to say or do.

“Hana, for now—”

“I knew this might happen. Wait a second.”

Hana shot up, staggering as she walked into the bedroom. There were crashing sounds as if she was rummaging through drawers. Feeling anxious, Dowon stood up to check on her, but Hana reappeared to grab him by the collar and force him to sit back down.

“Where are you going?” she hissed.

“I’m worried about you…”

“That’s a lie.”

Hana pushed him back into his seat and, looking him dead in the eye, handed him a piece of paper.

“If you’re going to leave, sign this before you go.”

“Wh—what is this?”

It was a marriage registration form. All of her personal information was already filled in. Dowon, flustered, couldn’t even bring himself to touch the form. Instead, he just stared at it. Rage colored Hana’s cheeks as he sat, frozen.

“See?” she shouted. “You were planning to leave me for Dahye, weren’t you?!”

“No, no! Hana, let’s get your medication. You haven’t taken it, have you?”

“You’re just trying to put me to sleep so you can leave and go to Dahye, aren’t you?!” Hana cried, clutching Dowon’s collar. As Dowon reached for the floor to steady himself, the marriage registration form tore.

***

Scattered across the floor were random wooden drawers, the torn marriage registration form, stationery, and clothes that had fallen from their places. Amidst the chaos, Dowon lay sleeping on a hastily spread-out blanket.

Hana stood there silently, staring at the mess.

Scratches were visible on Dowon’s arms and neck, clear evidence of Hana’s doing. There were also small red marks where bits of skin had been pinched.

Hana didn’t remember doing it, but she knew it was her doing. As she tried to calm herself, she took in the whole chaotic scene which was proof of her actions.

“Dowon, would you be better off if I died?” she whispered.

Hana sat next to Dowon, hugging her knees. She brushed his hair aside. It seemed like the best thing she could do for him would be to die.

Instead of helping him, she had only tormented him, hurt him, and caused him pain. Dowon always told her it was okay, always told her to think of herself first, and she had taken comfort in that, burdening him further.

“I don’t want to be like this…”

Hana buried her face in her knees and sobbed quietly. She wanted to cut off the hand that had scratched Dowon. Not just her hand, but also her tongue that had hurt him with its harsh words, her legs that sometimes failed to move, and her brain that stopped functioning properly when her worst memories resurfaced.

She wanted to live a happy, peaceful life with Dowon, like a normal couple. She wanted to be someone worthy of him. But reality kept making her head foggy, calling forth the side of her she hated.

If only she took her medication regularly, that would be enough. If only she got proper treatment, everything would be fine. But the sudden intrusive thoughts and overwhelming lethargy made her reject even the idea of taking her medication, let alone breathing in the air around her. And now, the fact that she had almost ruined Dowon—who had appeared like a savior—with her own hands made her want to die.

She was beyond help. She was a piece of trash. No one would mourn her death, and worse, her very existence harmed those around her. She was a parasite, too cowardly to even take her own life. All she did was waste electricity and oxygen as she breathed in her corner. At least that’s what she thought of herself.

If she killed herself now, would Dowon be able to find peace? No, no matter how much he said it wasn’t her fault, Dowon would be wracked with guilt. He might even have to be the one to handle her funeral. Even in death, she would be a burden.

The only reason Hana hadn’t died yet was Dowon. He was the sole reason she fought so desperately to stay alive.

“Then what am I supposed to do?”

Whether she lived or died, Hana was trapping Dowon. She knew all too well that her very existence was harmful to him. Up until now, she had selfishly thought, “Dowon said it’s okay, so it’s not my fault,” and allowed herself to cling to him…

Even though she knew that might not be how he truly felt, even though she knew he was growing tired, Hana had stubbornly stuck by his side, telling herself it was fine because he said it was.

Why had she pretended not to notice, even finding happiness in his presence?

Why hadn’t she realized that Dowon, too, needed someone to take care of him, someone to accept his need for affection? That her jealousy of Dahye was foolish, and that the best thing for Dowon would be for her to step away?

Dowon deserves to be with someone better than me.

The memory of her conversation with Dahye came rushing back. She had told Dahye that very thing: that Dowon deserved someone better than her. Hana sincerely meant it. She loved Dowon. She wanted him to meet someone better, someone wonderful. Someone kind, responsible, beautiful—someone truly good enough for him.

“… Someone good.”

Just then, as if to wake her from her thoughts, Dowon’s phone rang. To think that they were close enough for her to be calling this late… Hana stared at the name “Dahye” on the screen before answering the call.

“Hello, Dowon?”

“Dowon’s asleep right now, Dahye.”

There was silence on the other end of the line.

“Oh, I see. Sorry about that.”

Dahye’s voice began to fade as if she was about to hang up. After a brief moment of hesitation, Hana stopped her.

“Hey, Dahye. I have something to say.”

***

Recently, Dahye felt like everything happening around her was beyond her imagination.

“Dahye, over here.”

In the distance, she could see Dowon and Hana. This meeting had been arranged by none other than Hana. Even Dowon, standing beside Hana, looked anxious and confused as he glanced in Dahye’s direction.

“I heard you like coffee… I wanted to have some with you.”

They were at an espresso bar. She had even picked the place with Dahye in mind. Dahye forced a smile and studied Hana’s face.

It was true that Dahye had made efforts to meet Hana on her own terms, but seeing Hana come to her like this, of her own accord, was unexpectedly disconcerting.

“Let’s go inside.”

Hana grabbed both Dowon and Dahye by their hands and led them in. The espresso bar had a clean, monotone interior. Despite half the place being set up with regular café tables, Hana guided them to seats at the bar.

“Dowon can sit here.”

She placed Dowon in the middle, flanked by Dahye and herself. He and Dahye awkwardly picked up the menus.

“What will you have, Dahye?”

“Hmm, I think I’ll just try the basic espresso for now. What about you?”

“I’ll have…”

As Hana pondered the options, Dahye studied both Dowon and Hana’s faces. She couldn’t read Hana’s expression, but Dowon’s clearly showed disbelief at the current situation.

Even while choosing their drinks and waiting for the espresso, Hana remained surprisingly calm.

“Try it.”

When the espresso arrived, Dahye brought it to her lips. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly.

Ah, right, this one didn’t have sugar.

She had specifically asked to have the sugar removed to try the most basic espresso. It tasted much more bitter than expected, but she would get used to it. She quickly smoothed her expression and set the cup down.

“Here,” Dowon said, pushing his cup toward Dahye.

“What?”

“Mine’s a little bit sweet.”

“Oh, you didn’t even touch it.”

“Just take it.”

Dowon had mentioned before that he wasn’t good with bitter drinks. Dahye remembered that Hana said, at the hotel where they’d all had dinner, that Dowon only drank iced mochas. Why, then, had they chosen an espresso bar in the first place?

As Dahye debated whether to thank Dowon for his gesture, he quickly stopped Hana from drinking her espresso.

“Hana, it’s really hot. I know you’re thinking it’s best fresh, but give it a few minutes.”

“Is it really that hot?”

“Let it cool a bit.”

“Thanks.”

Dahye glanced at Dowon’s profile as his fingers curled gently around Hana’s wrist and he smiled gently. Dowon was always so attentive, being considerate of both Dahye and Hana on either side of him.

It irritated Dahye to no end.

What I get is fake, but that over there is real.

All of Dowon’s kindness towards Dahye was transactional, part of the debt he owed—the interest on his 3 million won. The better he treated her, the more he chipped away at the debt. He was just doing what was necessary.

But with Hana, it was real. Dowon remembered Hana’s habits, gently stopped her, placed napkins nearby, and smiled when she mentioned she had forgotten something. That gentle smile…

Hypocrite. Doesn’t even know his place.

Does Hana even realize? That Dowon is this shallow, treating people solely according to their appearance…

“Dahye, can I get your number?”

“…What?”

While Dahye was frowning and lost in thought, Hana had stretched her phone out across Dowon’s chest. Dowon’s eyes widened at the phone passing in front of him.

“I didn’t get your number last time.”

“…Oh, right…”

“Is it okay if I call you?”

Dahye subconsciously looked back and forth between the phone and Hana’s face. Hana was smiling at her more brightly and beautifully than anyone else had ever looked at her before.