Runner-up's Revenge

“You don’t need to come today.”

Something was off with Hana. Even though she had been taking her medicine regularly, this was the first time she’d stopped Dowon from visiting. From the start, the reason she relied on Dowon wasn’t because of her illness, it was because of her emotions.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I even cleaned my room by myself.”

Recently, Hana had been wanting to stay alone in her room more often. Unless it was absolutely necessary, she tried to keep Dowon from coming over.

“You cleaned your room?”

“I also made breakfast this morning. See? I’m getting better at being on my own.”

“You cooked… breakfast? With what? Did you order delivery?”

“No! I cooked it myself.”

Could this be a sign of mania? Dowon felt anxiety creeping in as he continued to question her.

“What did you make? What was the meal? Did you hurt yourself while cooking? Did you take your meds after eating?”

“Nothing happened… I made something simple, no fire involved. And yes, I took my meds…”

“You didn’t just have barley tea with rice, did you?”

Hana fell silent.

He must have guessed correctly. She was still struggling with lethargy, so it wasn’t mania. She was likely still in a depressive state. But Hana kept trying to do things by herself. Was this a good sign?

Dowon couldn’t let himself think that optimistically. Knowing Hana, this could be her way of cutting ties with the outside world. Dowon was her only link to the world beyond her apartment. Without him, she wouldn’t have anyone to contact or visit her.

She was trying to be independent, but her executive dysfunction wasn’t truly resolved. Could it be that she was tired of everything? Was she sinking deeper into depression? Or was it…

“Hana, then how about tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow… you don’t need to come either. Aren’t you busy with work?”

Or… was she deliberately avoiding him? She wouldn’t avoid him for no reason. Even when Dowon was busy with work, he made sure to visit her, and Hana knew that visiting her was something that made him happy.

If Hana was avoiding him, there was only one reason that came to mind.

Dahye Yoon.

The more he talked with Dahye, the more Hana’s expression hardened. There had even been a time when a call with Dahye had triggered one of Hana’s outbursts. But from Dowon’s perspective, he couldn’t stop those calls. He had no choice but to take them, even at Hana’s house, so it was understandable that Hana would be angry.

Should I… tell her?

If he confessed to Hana that he had borrowed 3 million won from Dahye and in return, he was serving as her emotional punching bag…

It could be phrased a bit more gently, but he doubted it would help much. Saying something like, “I borrowed money from Dahye and we’re a little friendlier now,” wouldn’t resolve the situation at all.

But if he was too honest, it was obvious that Hana would think something was off. On the other hand, if he didn’t say anything and kept up his relationship with Dahye, the situation wouldn’t be resolved either. He just couldn’t figure out what to do.

What terrified him most was the thought of Hana distancing herself from him. Dowon’s uneasiness pushed him to speak up.

“Hana, actually… about the calls with Dahye…”

He ended up explaining the situation to Hana. He didn’t go into specifics, just said that something bad had happened, and he needed money. He didn’t want to stress Hana out.

But he was honest about borrowing 3 million won and talking to Dahye as a form of paying off the interest.

“Seriously?”

He waited on tenterhooks for Hana’s reaction. After a brief moment of silence, she spoke.

“Okay, I see.”

“…Yeah, that’s it…”

“That makes sense.”

“… Really?” Dowon felt relief sweep over him. “Then, how about tomorrow—”

“You really don’t need to come tomorrow.”

With that, the call ended. Dowon stood there, utterly confused, with his phone still pressed to his ear. Being honest hadn’t changed anything. Was Dahye not the real issue? Then why was Hana trying to push him away?

Dowon felt lost. He knew he had to do something, but he didn’t know what.

***

Hana pressed her cheek against the floor, lying as flat as she could. Lately, the more she thought about Dowon, the more it felt like she was sinking into a swamp. Every action she had taken seemed to be pulling her deeper, weighing down her neck and feet.

Something bad happened to Dowon.

He said that something very tough happened, and because of it, he needed money. But he didn’t say what happened, how bad it was, or what exactly he went through. Dowon had kept quiet about the details. Even then, he had been considerate, not wanting to make her feel worse.

Over time, Dowon had slowly stopped sharing his thoughts with her. It was probably because her condition had worsened. He had always cared for her, always tried to help her. He took care of her, put her first, and gradually stopped telling her about things like his issues with Dahye.

“I’m… useless.”

When had Dowon stopped opening up to her? When had he begun hiding his feelings? When had she become a burden to him?

“Mine’s a little bit sweet.”

Hana thought about how Dowon took care of Dahye at the espresso bar, and she recalled Dahye’s face, staring intently at Dowon’s profile.

Whether it was about being an emotional punching bag or not, asking someone to talk with you in place of paying interest on a loan—every day for one or two hours—wasn’t something a person did if there weren’t feelings involved.

Dahye clearly had feelings for Dowon. Even her desire to torment him stemmed from affection. Hana imagined Dahye’s hand dialing Dowon’s number and the look on her face when talking to him.

“I don’t like it…”

Even though Hana knew that Dahye was a much better match for Dowon, she still wanted to be selfish and throw a tantrum like a child, begging, “I’m more pitiful and struggling, so please let me have him.” She wanted to lean on him, even knowing how much Dowon was suffering.

Hana wanted Dowon to continue caring for her, despite knowing how difficult it was for him. She wanted Dowon to stay locked in her room with her, not talking to anyone else. And she hated herself for thinking that way.

These feelings wouldn’t go away, even if she took her medication. Thinking about Dowon was simply part of Hana’s nature. And that made her hate herself even more.

“Hana.”

Just then, she heard the door unlock and Dowon’s footsteps entering the apartment. Even though she knew lying down like this would make him worried, she didn’t bother getting up.

“Hana, look at this.”

The stagnant air in Hana’s room was suddenly filled with a new scent. She looked up to see what Dowon had brought. It was a bouquet of her favorite flowers.

“Freesias. I know you like them. I bought a few bunches.”

Hana just stared at the yellow flowers in Dowon’s hands. He placed them on the bedside table and then sat down, taking Hana’s hand and massaging it gently.

“Are you not feeling well? You’ve been lying down since you ate earlier, haven’t you?”

“…I told you, you didn’t need to come…”

“I’ve heard your voice enough times to know better.”

Dowon must have been confused. After all, Hana was suddenly trying to be independent. But instead of avoiding the situation, he chose to face it head-on.

Pressing down on the pressure points in Hana’s palm, he said, “Do you want to have something really good for dinner? Is there anything you feel like having? Oh, wait, maybe that’s not the best question for someone who’s not feeling well. But, you know, sometimes eating helps when you’re feeling off…”

“I’m not feeling sick…”

A dam broke somewhere inside her, and Hana started crying. Dowon, startled, watched as tears poured from her eyes. He awkwardly wiped her face with his palm.

“Hana, why are you crying? Do you not want to eat? Did I say something wrong?”

“No, that’s not it…”

“Then don’t cry.”

“I can’t stop…”

Dowon held Hana’s face in both hands and brushed her tears away as they fell. Hana buried her face in his hands, wishing time would stop right there.

“No matter how many times I wipe them away, they won’t stop…” he murmured.

He glanced up at the tissue box, just out of reach, but seemed to think better of dislodging her. It felt like her small body was filled entirely with tears. Dowon just stared at her small, tear-streaked face.

Hana didn’t stop crying for a long time.

***

As usual, Dahye came home from work, slipped off her shoes without using her hands, wiped off her makeup, took a shower, and wrapped her hair in a towel. Then, as a recently added part of her post-work routine, she sat down on the sofa to call Dowon.

“…Hmm.”

Dahye paused, phone still in hand. It wasn’t that today had been particularly easy at work, or that she was tired of talking to Dowon. In fact, she had plenty of things to say to him today.

Her boss had been a nightmare again, a coworker had dumped more work on her—she was totally being taken advantage of. She had so many frustrating thoughts piling up that she needed to shove them all onto Dowon.

“Why am I so annoyed?”

Despite that, for some reason, she didn’t feel like calling him.

Dahye glanced at her reflection on the TV screen. The image wasn’t clear, but her face looked undeniably expectant.

She felt good. Even though she had been stressed to the point of wanting to scream before she left work, the thought of venting it all to Dowon once she got home had actually put her in a cheerful mood.

For the first time, Dahye noticed the expression on her face right before she called Dowon. Her lips were turned up in a smile.

But what kind of face would Dowon make when he answered her call? He must hate it. He probably loathed hearing his phone ring, especially if he was with Hana when she called. He likely thought she was interrupting his time with Hana.

He probably hated her calls for innumerable reasons, but answered them anyway because of the loan.

Dahye was nothing more than a source of money for him. These conversations were all just fake, paid services. It was completely different from what he gave to Hana.

“…I’m not doing it.”

She tossed her phone to the edge of the sofa. Today, she didn’t want to call. She kept picturing Dowon’s face, looking down at his phone with disgust as he answered her call. Even though she had never actually seen that expression, it was so vivid in her mind.

“Hana, careful, that’s hot.”

“Hana, this is really bitter, do you want to try it?”

“Hana, do you want to order dessert?”

Hana this, Hana that. It was as if Dowon couldn’t have a conversation without saying Hana’s name. Just thinking about Dowon at the espresso bar made Dahye’s mood sink.

Sure, he took care of Dahye too, though maybe his voice was a little less gentle with her. Anyone watching them might have thought he was dating both women.

But her actions weren’t really for her. They were a fragment of what belonged to Hana, given to Dahye out of obligation.

“They must be dating, right?”

Hana had said they weren’t, but that was probably just her mental instability talking. In reality, they were basically a couple.

How long had they been seeing each other? Where had they met? It seemed like they spent almost every day together. After work, Dowon probably went straight to Hana’s house. What did they do there? What did they talk about? How far had they gone? How close were they?

“What am I even doing right now?”

What was she thinking? Dahye yanked the towel off her head and tossed it into the washing machine. Her face had gone red with embarrassment. Why was she even curious about their relationship?

“W—well, people are naturally nosy.”

Everyone was like that. Dahye was just being human. After all, romance shows were popular for a reason. People are always curious about others’ relationships.

It was just that Dahye didn’t have many friends or couples around her, so she was more interested in Dowon and Hana. She just wanted to know what kind of relationship that jerk Dowon Lee had.

“…Maybe I should go on a blind date.”

It’s just human nature, Dahye reassured herself, then switched on the TV.