Runner-up's Revenge

Hana smelled good—she had showered.

How could a neatly styled bob haircut look so terrifying? The sight of the beautiful, smiling woman serving him food felt like a scene straight out of a horror movie to Dowon.

“Are you… okay?” he asked cautiously.

“No, I’m not okay.” Hana made a sullen face. Of course, she wasn’t. Just as Dowon was about to say something, Hana grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the kitchen.

“Does it look good? It’s at least fine, right? Tell me it’s fine.”

Hana gestured widely to her table, which was overflowing with food. Dowon’s face grew pale as his eyes darted over the food spread before him. He could feel cold sweat running down his back. There was no way he could escape from Hana in her current state.

“Uh… Hana, first—”

“Grilling fish is really hard. Taste this. They say to sprinkle something on top to make it better, but what do I know?”

“Uh… It looks fine, I think.”

“Really?”

When she was like this, Hana didn’t listen to anyone. No, that wasn’t completely true, she listened, but the topics swirling in her head changed so quickly that it made you wonder if she was paying attention at all.

“Fish…” she mused. “Should we go to the aquarium this weekend?”

“Did you just look at this fish and suggest going to the aquarium?”

“Bad idea? Then how about the zoo? I want to see the pandas.”

“Pandas are great, but—

“But now that I think about it, I should go to the hair salon first. I’ll go in the morning and for lunch—”

Dowon wanted to spit out the fish he had just shoved into his mouth. He didn’t want to think about how this grilled fish, roasted to a crisp, had once swum through the sea. He mindlessly shoveled food into his mouth.

Hana, looking pleased, rested her chin in her hand and said, “Then we can get married in the evening.”

“Who?”

“You and me, who else?”

“What?” Horror crept through Dowon’s stomach. “Uh, wait, what?”

Dowon and Hana were not dating. Not even close to it. At least, they weren’t in a typical relationship, like a normal boyfriend and girlfriend. Sure, spending time together in the same room every day could lead to some sort of attachment. It was that attachment which led Dowon to tell Hana that he liked her once.

“Dowon Lee, how could you date someone like me…? I do nothing but stay holed up at home. You can’t seriously want to date someone like that. You’re too good for me. I don’t even know how long I’ll be like this… I want all this to end…”

After hearing his confession of love, Hana had turned pale and spent an hour spiraling into self-deprecation. All Dowon could do was console her, apologizing for what he said in the first place. Now, after rejecting him in such a painful way, she was suddenly talking about marriage?

“You didn’t take your meds, did you, Hana?”

“How did you know? I ate food instead. Dowon, why can I see your spoon? Hurry up and eat!”

“You’re acting like this because you didn’t take your meds…”

“But what would be stronger, a panda or a shark? If they fought.”

“You’re the weak one,” he retorted.

Dowon wanted to yell at Hana, telling her it wasn’t just any medication, it was her bipolar meds that she needed to take. She had probably run out by now since her prescription cycles were short.

Trying his best to look cheerful, Dowon forced a smile and said, “The food was really delicious, Hana. Must be because of your last name—Baeks are good at cooking.”

“Why are you comparing me to someone else?”

“No, no, it’s a compliment. You know, Jongwon Baek, that famous chef who’s opened all those successful franchises?”

“Whose is better, my food or his?”

“No, I mean… Well, I’ll know when I taste it. How about we go to one of his cafes?”

How was he supposed to handle this crazy woman? As Dowon stammered and sweated, trying to explain, Hana stared at him before bursting into noisy laughter.

“Sounds good! Let’s go get coffee.”

“I’ll buy,” he said with relief. “Let’s go. Really, thanks for the meal, Hana.”

“Great! Then I’ll make you dinner too!”

The place Dowon took her was not a cafe, but the psychiatric clinic right upstairs.

“Dowon Lee, you bastard! How could you bring me here? You traitor!” Hana howled. “You said we’d have coffee! Coffee! Who wants to drink free hospital coffee?!”

Dowon struggled to shove Hana inside the psychiatric clinic. Hana, who was desperately clinging to the automatic doors, screeched and fought back. How on earth did parents manage to trick their kids with promises of pork cutlets only to take them to the dentist?

“Hana, ow, damn! Please, ouch, that hurts!”

“I’m gonna kill you! Kill you! You lied about wanting to date me, lied about wanting to marry me, you con artist! This was a romance scam!”

Dowon could feel the people inside the hospital staring at them, wide-eyed. It wasn’t like this was the first time they’d seen someone losing their mind, so why did they look so surprised?

He kept throwing his body weight against Hana’s contorted back, trying to ignore the automatic door hitting the back of his hand and the scratches Hana was clawing into his skin.

“Hana, I’ll talk to you later,” he panted when he finally managed to propel her inside.

“ ‘Later’ will be the day of your funeral,” she hissed.

Dowon stumbled out of the building, leaving Hana, trembling with rage, buried in a soft hospital sofa. His hand was covered in red scratches, as if he’d arm wrestled an alley cat.

***

“Damn it,” Dowon sighed loudly.

As always, Dowon arrived for his shift at the convenience store and plopped down into the plastic chair the moment he opened the door. He didn’t care if his wages got docked.

The so-called “paradise” he had fled to yesterday had turned into a hellish nightmare, and after managing to wrangle Hana into the psychiatric ward, he had spent the night kicking his blankets and walls, unable to sleep.

“Should I just off myself?”

He tried to imagine how his death would be reported.

Would he be remembered as the “poor young man who worked a convenience store job to make a living,” or would they say, “A pitiful man who spent his life looking down on others, only to drown in a pool of self-pity, unable to remember the hundreds of times he hurt others as he broke over the one singular time he was hurt himself?”

Dowon’s hands shook. Every time he thought about the past, Dahye’s voice clung to him like a sticker that wouldn’t come off. No matter how many times he tried to peel it away, the residue lingered, tormenting him. But what plagued him even more was knowing that he deserved it.

He glanced at the poster-covered glass door. Will she come? Please, please… Dowon chewed at the skin around his nails, anxiety coursing through his bloodstream.

“You look terrible. Didn’t sleep?”

Despite his silent pleading, Dahye appeared with a clear, calm face, like karma itself.

Dowon closed his eyes for a moment.

“You’re not even going to respond now?”

“Sorry…” he muttered.

Dowon didn’t have the will or energy to even look at her face. He kept his eyes fixed on the floor, silently waiting for Dahye to hand him something to ring up. But as the seconds ticked by, she just stood there, in front of the counter, without saying a word.

At last, Dowon finally looked up. Dahye, who had been expressionless, smiled as soon as their eyes met.

“That’s better.”

Did Dahye learn some special technique at work for dealing with people who treated her badly in the past? As Dowon alternated between looking at her forehead, nose, and chin, while avoiding her eyes, Dahye grinned.

“I talked to Seunggeon, and he said preparing for exams is all about stamina. Those who can sit still the longest win.”

Dowon didn’t bother to answer.

“You didn’t slack off because you were too confident in yourself, did you?”

Dowon squeezed his eyes shut. He childishly wanted to clap his hands over his ears. He knew this was his karmic retribution, but he still wanted to run away from it.

“Remember back in high school?” Dahye continued. “You used to say, ‘Staying longer doesn’t mean more sticks in your head.’ ”

This is my karma, this is my karma, Dowon chanted mentally, aware that knowledge changed nothing. He couldn’t accept his well-deserved payback with grace. His hands, gripping the counter, were trembling.

“Maybe you were too focused on memorizing concepts? You need to actually understand them, Dowon.”

Dowon wanted to say, “I know better than you.” Dahye had never experienced the kind of pain he had. He wanted to say that he knew how stupid he had been, better than anyone, how he had ruined everything. But he couldn’t say it out loud.

Back in high school, Dahye had held back her true thoughts, too.

“Being smart isn’t always a good thing, you know. You were a star in high school, but now look at you. Why don’t you try getting a real job?”

She was right. His life was pathetic—still running on the little success he’d had in high school.

“Should I hook you up?” she offered. “You helped me out so much in high school, I want to return the favor.”

Dowon hated himself for not being able to refute a single word she said. He clung to his uniform vest for support.

“But you can’t expect anything fancy. I have my reputation to protect, so I can’t set you up with a fantastic place… But considering your current level, you should lower your expectations, you know. You’re stuck here because of your pride.”

Neither his uniform nor the countertop offered any real support. Dowon’s legs shook. He wanted to collapse to the floor and start bawling. The thought that he had fallen so far that he would be a stain on Dahye’s reputation—that was exactly his worth now. A shallow man, full of pride but only capable of self-pity.

“Dowon, aren’t you going to ring this up?”

Dowon opened his eyes. On the counter were her usual two citron teas. Dahye, acting as if nothing had happened, was tapping the lids of the bottles with wide eyes.

“You can at least do that right.”

As he watched Dahye walk away with both teas, Dowon began thinking about how he could kill himself without suffering too much. Would she really come every day, just to drive him deeper into despair?

Maybe I should have checked myself into that mental health clinic along with Hana. Dowon wished that all of this was just a scene from his imagination. But the more he thought about it, the more Dahye’s words felt like a knife between his ribs. She hadn’t said anything wrong.

“Welcome,” Dowon murmured as the door jingled.

“You can at least do that right.” Dahye’s words echoed, forcing Dowon to stand up straight. There was still a month left before he could quit.

***

“Are you just going to slack off because you’re quitting soon? I told you not to sit on the clock! If you sit down, your wages get cut. You know I’m watching you on the CCTV, so why do you keep doing it?”

The next day, before Dahye could arrive, it was the store owner who came to berate Dowon. The boss had apparently stopped by to check on things and found Dowon sitting in the chair, shivering. Now, he was jabbing his phone at Dowon, yelling at him.

“I hired you because you were older and didn’t have much experience, out of pity. And this is how you repay me? Hey, why don’t you pay back everything you ate from the expired stock? Want me to calculate it so you can give me cash?”

Dowon, somewhere along the way had become someone who was treated like garbage, even if he took things meant to be thrown away.

As the boss reached for him, Dowon allowed himself to be shoved around, retreating into his own thoughts. It felt like the boss’s voice and Dahye’s voice were blending together. It was exhausting, but he didn’t even feel like he had the right to be tired. Dowon knew, as Dahye had said, that this was the least he could be doing well.

“I’m sorry,” Dowon said, emotionless.

“Sorry? Is that how someone who’s sorry acts? You did this on purpose to quit early, didn’t you? You were sitting there in front of the CCTV for me to see, weren’t you?”

Wouldn’t it be better to just die? I’ve already hit rock bottom. Dowon imagined himself living this way forever, constantly bowing his head to others. It seemed to suit him. Dahye’s voice echoed in his mind again, “You can at least do that right; don’t let your pride get in the way…”

“Excuse me, is it true that sitting in a chair means your wages get cut?”

Dowon snapped his head up. The voice blending with his thoughts wasn’t just a hallucination. It really was Dahye. Arms crossed, she was glaring back and forth between Dowon and the boss with utter disdain.

“Are you trying to check out? You, hurry and ring her up.”

“I’m talking to you. Is it true that sitting in a chair means your wages get cut? And did you seriously sell expired food?”

“Hey, lady. I’m talking to my employee, it’s none of your business.”

“How much do you pay him? Are you at least paying minimum wage?”

Dahye’s interrogation was sharp and self-assured, as if she were Dowon’s spokesperson. It was the first time he had seen her usually kind and gentle face twist with anger. Dowon could only watch in silence, unable to speak up.

“You know there’s a Department of Labor office nearby, right? Maybe we should go talk there? I’m a regular here, but if I had known you were exploiting your workers like this, I wouldn’t have come.”

“It was all in the contract, how is that illegal?” his boss spat. “What do you know?”

“So, the contract itself was illegal.” Dahye grabbed Dowon by the shoulder, pretending she didn’t know him, and asked. “Sir, do you even have the contract?”

Startled, Dowon responded awkwardly, “Uh… I never got one…

“You never received one? That’s illegal too. This place has a lot of problems.” Dahye released him. “Should we go talk somewhere else?”

“I’ll get the contract, alright? I’ll bring it to you,” the boss grumbled, scuttling away. Dowon, confused, glanced at Dahye. She sighed deeply, rubbing her forehead. She was clearly enraged.

What was that? Didn’t she want to see his life fall apart? The Dahye that he knew would have just watched him get reamed by the boss, or maybe would have even joined in. But instead, she was furious on his behalf.

Had Dahye grown tired of pushing him around after just one day of doing it? Dowon glanced at her.

Dahye looked at him, then around at the convenience store, before saying, “Dowon…”

“Y—yeah?”

“Your standards are lower than I thought. Working here under these conditions…”

Dowon’s eyes cast around for something to land on, other than the woman in front of him.

“Well…”

“Why haven’t you gotten a proper job? Is there something wrong with you that I don’t know about?”

He fell silent.

“If something’s unfair, you should speak up… Is that why you fail interviews? Want me to recommend some speech classes for you?”

Damn it, seriously?

Dowon lifted his head and finally met Dahye’s eyes. Her expression was completely neutral, and he had no idea what she was thinking.