Delusional Love

“You got into college on your first try, right?” Hyerim asked as they left the classroom. “Without taking a gap year or retaking the entrance exams?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Yonwoo replied.

“Then drop the formalities and ease up a bit. We're the same age and both freshmen. It’s too awkward otherwise.”

I’d rather keep things awkward and distant with you.

“We only have one group project together. Is it really necessary?”

“Only one? Come on, we also sit together in two classes! Plus, we're having lunch today. Let's talk casually, okay?”

Yoonwoo wondered how Hyerim counted it as two classes when she'd slept through Contemporary Management. And they’re only having lunch because her friend had canceled. It was all about perspective.

He'd met plenty of people who made casual offers out of politeness, but never someone who pushed this hard.

“Uh...”

“Relax! Just say okay!”

“Uh... Okay? Okay.”

It was a disaster. He couldn't refuse Hyerim's insistence. The situation had spun out of control from the moment he'd agreed to lunch. The walk from the Econ lecture to the street food spot was long, and Yoonwoo noticed the stares. People seemed to glance at him with a “What's he doing with her?” look.

Once they switched to casual speech, Hyerim bombarded him with questions about his major, clubs, classes, and more. It seemed endless.

“So, Yoonwoo, do you usually cook for yourself?”

“No, I just order salads in bulk and add some meat.”

“That's practically a diet! Is that why you're in such great shape? And your skin's so fair? I should try that, but I can't control my appetite. Even so, you should eat a bit more. Not that you're not fine as you are.”

As expected, Hyerim sprinkled in compliments, but Yoonwoo knew better than to take them to heart. It was just a social cue, as casual as asking "How are you?" He reminded himself that for some, flattery was just another conversational tool.

Yoonwoo knew that now was the time for him to return a compliment to Hyerim.

“What do you mean? It's hardly a diet. You're slim but work out a lot, so you might need more food. I only eat like that because I'm on a budget.”

I hope that was enough.

Talking with Hyerim felt like a test where he had to choose the right answers.

"Huh? I work out a lot? Yoonwoo, have you seen me exercising?"

Shit, I messed up.

Yoonwoo's stomach lurched as the words left his mouth. “Ah, yeah. I saw you in the weight room during break.”

Was she upset? Yoonwoo’s thoughts began to spiral.

Will she report me for sexual harassment? Should I just kill myself before I cause trouble for my parents? If people find out I’ve been reported for harassment, even Rabbit won’t die with me.

But Hyerim's response caught him off guard. “Oh my gosh, that's right! How embarrassing. You must have seen me all sweaty and gross without makeup.”

Yoonwoo nearly reassured her, then hesitated. Was this a trap to make him admit to staring? Social interactions always felt like psychological warfare to him, each word a potential landmine.

“I just remembered seeing a woman working out in the weight area because it was the first time seeing someone there. I didn’t look too closely,” he said cautiously.

“You didn’t look closely? I see. Hmm. What kind of exercises do you usually do?”

The topic shift suggested he'd dodged a bullet, but the conversation showed no signs of ending. Was the street food spot really that far away?

Hyerim's chatter wore him down as they walked through campus. Crowds of students were milling around, and he noticed many of them were eyeing Hyerim. To endure the situation, he comforted himself with the thought that in two hours, he would be comfortably sleeping in a soft chair at the management building.

“Mostly burpees and bodyweight stuff. Started some YouTube routines over break,” he mumbled.

Hyerim's eyes lit up. “Oh, are you that guy who does super-fast burpees? I've noticed you - it's impressive!”

The compliment felt like another minefield. Praising her in return might imply he'd been watching her closely. He couldn't explain he'd glanced at her out of a sense of inferiority, wondering about how much she could deadlift or whether she was lifting heavier weights than he was. Could this be a trap designed with that level of calculation?

Relief washed over him as they reached the food stall. “I just go fast because I'm lighter. We're here.”

“No line? Lucky us!” Hyerim beamed.

Yoonwoo hoped for a reprieve from her questions and the stares of passersby, but choosing food together posed a new challenge.

“What do you like here, Yoonwoo?”

“I’ve never been here before, so I don’t know. Just order what you usually get.”

“Seriously? Your first time? Don't you like street food?”

“No, I like it,”

I hate it.

As a child, Yoonwoo's meals came from convenience stores and cheap snack bars, a stark contrast to his classmates who enjoyed packed lunches or dinners at Korean soup restaurants. He'd wolf down kimbap between classes, watching the few other neglected kids chat over their food.

Do I like street food? Yoonwoo mused. I've never liked it. It's just fuel. Ramen's too salty, kimbap chokes me, and tteokbokki's sickeningly sweet.

“That’s great. I love tteokbokki! Then, let’s have the usual?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” he replied.

He didn’t know what she considered “usual,” but since he hated everything anyway, it didn’t matter what she ordered. For him, street food was a daily torment. Was it a treat for Hyerim? Her childhood must have been different. As he pondered this, Hyerim swiftly checked off the order form and handed it to the owner.

Huh, that’s quite a lot of check marks.

“What did you order?”

“Tteokbokki, kimbap, sundae, and dumplings.”

Who’s going to eat all that?

Yoonwoo's stomach clenched. He could barely manage a sandwich most days where he usually eats half for lunch and the other half for dinner.

“Isn’t that a bit much for two people?”

"It's just right," Hyerim assured him, but doubt gnawed at him.

The food arrived quickly, a mountain of it. It turned out to be much more than he anticipated. The kimbap was different from what he had thought. Unlike other kimbap, this one used black rice, and not just that—the filling was so tightly packed that it looked like it might burst at any moment. He watched, fascinated, as the cook slammed fistfuls of tuna onto the rice. No wonder it was popular with broke students. Though it tastes like a regular kimbap.

“Cheap but good, right?” Hyerim beamed.

“It sure is.”

Hyerim attacked the food with gusto, chopsticks a blur between dishes. Yoonwoo ate carefully, separating each item, but the dumplings and kimbap filled him rapidly.

Oh boy.

The table still looked untouched. If he stopped now, it'd seem like he'd come unwillingly. Resigned, he treated it as two meals and pressed on.

Minutes later, the dishes were clean.

“It feels like I ate it all myself," Hyerim said. "Didn't you like it?”

Despite his efforts, Yoonwoo had managed only a third of the feast. Hyerim had demolished the rest.

“No, I really ate a lot,” he insisted. “I think I don't even need dinner.”

He was certain he wouldn't.

“You don't eat much, do you?” Hyerim looked sheepish. “I'm a bit embarrassed I ate so much…”

“No, I really ate a lot," Yoonwoo repeated. “Anyway, it's good you enjoyed it.”

Okay, can we go home now?

“Um, I'll pay since I ate almost everything,” Hyerim offered. “Check, please!”

Hyerim promptly paid with a ten-thousand-won note. Such a feast for so little money - if only Yoonwoo enjoyed street food, he might have considered it to be his staple.

“Let's split it,” he offered, guilt gnawing at him. “Take this five thousand won.”

“Don't worry,” Hyerim smiled, gesturing towards a nearby coffee shop. “Why don't you get the coffee instead?”

Yoonwoo had seen other college students having coffee together after lunch. Coffee was a luxury on his tight budget, but it seemed a fair way to contribute. He'd buy her drink and they'd part ways, he reasoned.

“What will you have, Hyerim?”

“An iced mocha, please! We can take it to go and walk to the management building.”

Her words caught him off-guard. Was she suggesting they continue together? While paying, Yoonwoo decided to clarify his plans.

“Um... I was planning to go to the library to read before class.”

“No wonder you finish assignments so quickly.”

“I just copied the answers from a textbook, that’s all,” he mumbled.

He waited for her to say something more. His face felt hot as he realized it wasn’t an invitation to go together after all.

I almost followed her. So embarrassing.

He handed her the coffee and turned to walk away.

“Yoonwoo, where are you going?”

“Huh? To the library.”

“Why are you going that way? The library is right next to the management building.”

Yoonwoo realized that she meant the Central Library. He was an introvert, so he rarely visited the crowded Central Library. Instead, he preferred the quiet corners of Hana Library on the engineering campus.

“Uh, I’m used to going to Hana Library…”

“But the Central Library is right next to the management building. Why go all the way there? I’ll be bored waiting by myself for the next class. Let’s go this way together.”

Dread filled him. The crowded Central Library with Hyerim? Nothing good could come of it.

Maybe it’s okay for me to turn her down.

Perhaps saying he didn’t like crowded places would be an acceptable excuse. But he knew his preference didn’t matter to anyone else. On the other hand, Hyerim's boredom seemed to matter more than his comfort. Surely others would jump at the chance to accompany her.

The more he pondered, the more refusing felt like a social misstep. Like a soldier spurning a king's gift. What fate would befall such a soldier? Surely, his head would end up on the chopping block.

“Okay, fine,” he conceded.

It’s only for today. She’s only doing this because her plans fell through, and she’s bored. There won’t be another day like this.

Yonwoo clung to that thought, reluctantly heading towards the Central Library with Hyerim.