Fugly Casanova

“Check this out. This website sells soft peaches for 100 won more than firm ones.”

“Huh, you’re right. Never noticed that before.”

“See, that’s capitalism for you. Price becomes the be-all and end-all, you know? We start thinking expensive means better quality. So now we’ve got ourselves believing soft peaches taste better just ‘cause they cost more.”

“Oh, come on. That’s a bit of a stretch, don’t you think?”

“What, you don’t buy it? Careful now, disagree with me and we might just spark a political debate right here.”

“Soft peaches are way better!” Jiwoo exclaimed at the video she was watching on her phone. “That juicy sweetness dripping down your chin? Nothing beats it.”

Byung-jun, peering over her shoulder, nodded eagerly. “Totally agree. Soft peaches all the way.”

Jiwoo turned to him, her eyebrows raised. “Yeah? You think so too?”

A flush crept up Byung-jun’s neck as he rushed to affirm, “Absolutely. I mean, who even likes firm peaches? Might as well munch on a radish. Or hey, why not throw some firm peaches in with your beef stew?”

Jiwoo burst out laughing. “Right? What’s the point?”

From her perch on the corner of the sofa, Hansol’s quiet voice drifted over. “I like firm peaches.”

Jiwoo’s head whipped around, her eyes wide with disbelief. “Seriously? No way. What’s so great about them?”

Hansol shrugged, not looking up from her phone. “They’re crunchier.”

“You eat peaches for the crunch?” Jiwoo gaped at her.

Hyunsoo, sitting next to Byung-jun, piped up. “Peaches should be firm. Hansol’s got the right idea.”

Byung-jun leaned in, muttering under his breath, “Look who’s trying to impress her…”

Hyunsoo elbowed him, mouthing back, “Look who’s talking.” The guys around them snickered.

Oblivious to their exchange, Jiwoo declared, “Huh, more firm peach fans than I thought. Let’s put it to a vote.”

As Jiwoo called for hands, the boys exchanged knowing glances. One spoke up, “Soft peaches for me.”

Another chimed in, “Uh… firm peaches, I guess.”

Byung-jun’s lips twitched into a grin. “Well, would you look at that? We’re tied 3-3.”

Jiwoo’s jaw dropped. “No way. Soft peaches aren’t winning?”

Her eyes scanned the room before landing on the far corner. A mischievous smile spread across her face as she sing-songed, “Noeul, what about you? You’re not one of those firm peach weirdos, right? There’s no way.”

Without glancing up from his laptop, Noeul replied, “Firm peaches for me.”

The room erupted in a chorus of excited chatter and laughter. “4-3! Firm peaches take the crown!” someone crowed.

Jiwoo blinked, her gaze fixed on Noeul. If he noticed her staring, he didn’t show it, his expression blank as he focused on his screen. Slowly, the smile slipped from Jiwoo’s face.

***

Hansol was already settled in the back corner when Noeul entered the empty lecture hall. Their eyes met briefly before Noeul quickly averted his gaze, taking his seat.

Damn it, he thought. I should’ve just said hello like nothing happened. Now it’s weird to turn back, but staying quiet makes it seem like we had some big falling out.

He was still wrestling with how to salvage the situation when Hansol’s voice broke the silence. “You’re here early.”

Relieved, Noeul turned. “Had some free time. You?”

“Same.”

Noeul nodded, about to face forward again when he hesitated. “Listen, about yesterday… I’m sorry. I was dealing with some stuff.”

“What? Oh, that.” Hansol waved her hand dismissively. “Forgot all about it. Don’t sweat it, I’ve got bigger fish to fry.” She turned back to her phone.

Noeul knew better. Someone as perceptive as Hansol couldn’t have truly forgotten. Her casual dismissal only twisted the knife of guilt deeper. She probably knew how much he had berated himself after what he said as well; that was probably why she was acting so nonchalant.

Suddenly, as if struck by a thought, Hansol looked up. “What was going on with you yesterday, anyway?”

“It wasn’t much, really. I was in a mood and you caught the brunt of it.”

“If you get stressed, what hope is there for the rest of us mere mortals?”

Noeul let out a weak chuckle, but her words hit home. Trying to lighten the mood, he quipped, “Right, because one of us has to have it together, inside and out.”

He shook his head with exaggerated self-deprecation, but Hansol didn’t crack a smile.

“You know,” she said slowly, “I’ve been wondering about something.”

Noeul’s stomach tightened. “Oh? What’s that?”

“If I weren’t pretty, would you still want to be friends with me?”

Noeul looked away, unable to meet her piercing gaze. She had always been able to see right through him.

When someone begins to hate themselves, life becomes an uphill battle. Yet, most people find a way to soften the blow. Instead of outright hatred for their flaws, they shift toward a kind of self-pity.

They don’t hate themselves for being weak; they feel sorry for their ailing body and mind. They don’t despise their obsessive tendencies; they pity the neglected child within. They don’t loathe their dishonesty; they sympathize with the self that sees no other choice but to lie.

This makes life a little less painful. But scratch beneath the surface, and you’ll find this pity isn’t as noble as it seems.

Noeul pitied himself for being unattractive. He was convinced that his life was fundamentally different from those blessed with good looks. Yet, ironically, he shunned other unattractive people, fearing association with them would diminish his own worth in others’ eyes. In private, he’d lament his fate: Poor, unloved me. Pathetic.

Hansol had seen right through him, and Noeul knew it.

What should he say? He had a well-rehearsed response ready, one that would paint him in a favorable light. But something stirred within him, urging him to be honest with Hansol. He sensed that any attempt to dodge the truth would be pointless. This realization pushed Noeul to speak candidly. He’d spent far too long being dishonest—with others, with himself. Maybe, just this once, he could speak freely without worrying how his words would be received.

“I probably wouldn’t have,” he admitted quietly.

Hansol looked at him for a moment, then nodded as if she understood.

“I guess that’s why I was curious,” Noeul continued. “I wouldn’t want to be friends with me if I were someone else. So why would you?”

Hansol gazed out the window, contemplating. “I’m not sure exactly… but maybe I wanted to prove that exceptions exist. To you, and to myself.”

“Why would you need to prove that? You don’t need to do that. It’s something only people like me would want to prove.”

“I don’t know…” Hansol hesitated, struggling to find the right words. “Is it because a world with exceptions is preferable? Like, there may be no truly beautiful world, but parents always strive to show their children the world in the best light possible. While it was a harsh world for me, I hope it won’t be for someone else…”

Noeul couldn’t fully grasp what she meant, but her words left a deep ache in his chest.

Trying to mask his emotions, he let out a small laugh. “Am I like your kid or something?”

Hansol chuckled awkwardly. Noeul wanted to ask why she felt the need to prove this exception to him, of all people. But he couldn’t bring himself to say the words out loud.

Just then, the door to the lecture hall creaked open. Both Noeul and Hansol turned to see who it was.

Jiwoo entered the room, pausing as she noticed the two of them sitting together.

***

Jiwoo broke the silence. “You guys got here early. Did you come together?”

“No, we just ran into each other,” Hansol replied.

“Right.”

Jiwoo’s gaze flicked to Noeul, who had suddenly become very interested in his laptop and notes.

As she made her way to a seat by the wall, Jiwoo commented, “I thought I’d be the first one here. It’s still twenty minutes till class starts.”

Noeul remained silent, flipping through his notes.

Hansol spoke up, “I came early to kill some awkward time. So did he.”

“Oh, I see,” Jiwoo said, settling into her seat.

A knot of frustration began to form in her stomach. When she’d walked in, Noeul had been turned around, clearly mid-conversation with Hansol. But the moment Jiwoo appeared, he’d spun back around, busying himself with his materials as if class were about to start any second.

Shouldn’t there have been some casual conversation? Even just a “Hey, you’re early too”? That’s what normal people would do. Why was Noeul acting like they were strangers, or worse, like he was upset with her?

Even earlier, in the lounge, something had felt off. During the peach debate, Jiwoo had expected one of Noeul’s typical quips. Something like, “Who eats soft peaches and lets juice drip everywhere?” or “If you’re eating soft peaches, why even bother having teeth? Might as well yank ‘em out.”

But instead, his response had been cold, almost distant.

Just a few days ago, at drinks, Noeul had assured her that he didn’t dislike her. So why did it feel like he was putting up a wall now? Was she overthinking things? Was this just how Noeul usually was? But he hadn’t acted this way with the others, nor when they first met.

The uncertainty was driving Jiwoo from frustration to outright irritation.

“Noeul, do you want to see Dead Man 2 with Joonki and me this weekend?” she asked.

Noeul shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I’m already seeing it with someone else.”

“Oh… with who?”

“…Hyun—”

But before Noeul could finish, Hansol interjected, “With me.”

“Oh…”

Jiwoo nodded, turning back to face the front.

What was going on? Noeul had clearly been about to say Hyunsoo’s name before Hansol jumped in, claiming she was the one going with him. As if she was covering for him.

Was going to the movies with Jiwoo something Noeul wanted to avoid? Did Noeul tell Hansol he didn’t like her, and that’s why Hansol was helping him out? Why? What had Jiwoo done?

Jiwoo bit her lip, a wave of hurt and frustration washing over her.

If I’ve done something wrong, why won’t he just tell me? Why’s he being so passive-aggressive? Or does he just not want to be friends with me anymore? Is it because I’m too outgoing? I guess Hansol’s quieter and more mysterious… But we knew each other first. We used to have fun together. Is he just ditching me now that he’s found someone he clicks with better? Even if that’s the case, is it fair to just shut me out like this?

Determined not to be sidelined, Jiwoo felt a surge of defiance.

It’s not like I haven’t had people dislike me before, but I’ve always won them over. Noeul will be no different.

Jiwoo turned toward Noeul and Hansol and said brightly, “Great! The four of us should go together.”