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Fugly Casanova

18

Chapter 18

Jiwoo took a big bite of her pepperoni pizza, chewing thoughtfully before asking, “Why is it so hard to get together these days? You guys are always so busy.”

“Maybe you’re just not busy enough,” Noeul quipped.

“No way,” Jiwoo protested, her mouth still full. She swallowed and turned to Hansol. “Thanks for coming out. I really appreciate it.”

Hansol shrugged. “It’s fine. I wanted to hang out too. Missed the last one because of that makeup class, remember?”

Noeul glanced at Hansol’s face, which bore the usual aloof, cat-like expression she wore around others. He felt a little uneasy. Yesterday, seeing Jiwoo looking so dejected had tugged at his heartstrings. He’d figured one meetup wouldn’t hurt, especially since Jiwoo was trying so hard to get closer. It had felt wrong to keep pushing her away, as if he and Hansol were somehow above her. Plus, Hansol had hung out with Jiwoo before, so he’d assumed it would be fine.

But on his way home after parting with Jiwoo, doubt had crept in. He should’ve checked with Hansol instead of impulsively setting everything up. He could’ve changed the plans, but Jiwoo had been so excited that he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Keeping his distance was one thing, but he didn’t want Jiwoo thinking he was all talk.

Hansol’s reaction had been lukewarm, as expected. Noeul didn’t think she disliked Jiwoo, but she didn’t seem entirely at ease with her either. It was like Hansol didn’t mind hanging out if she had to, but it wasn’t something she’d choose to do.

He remembered their conversation:

“Sorry for making plans without asking… If you’re busy, I can talk to Jiwoo.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s just dinner. I missed shopping with her last time, so… yeah, it might be nice to meet up.”

Normally, Noeul would’ve taken the hint and canceled or gone alone. But this time, he’d pretended not to notice Hansol’s reluctance. He wanted to go through with it, even if it meant ignoring the signs.

“Really? Thanks for understanding. I’ll treat you to dinner.”

“No need. It’s not like I’m doing something I don’t want to do. We’re just hanging out.”

“Still. I made the plans without asking you.”

“…Just don’t do it again.”

Hansol’s words had sent a slight chill down Noeul’s spine.

And that’s how the three of them had ended up here, sharing an awkward dinner.

Jiwoo eyed the remaining pizza slices curiously. “Who didn’t eat the arugula and potato pizzas?”

“Oh, those were mine,” Hansol replied.

Jiwoo’s eyes widened with barely concealed hope. “You’re not going to eat them?”

Hansol shrugged. “Yeah, I’m done. If you want them, go ahead.”

“Really? Thanks!” Jiwoo grabbed a slice eagerly. “But why aren’t you finishing them? Too full?”

“No, I just have a limit on how much I eat.”

“Oh, are you watching your weight?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, that explains why you’re so slim. Do you get sugar-free snacks?”

“Usually, yeah.”

Jiwoo perked up. “I know this great one my friend recommended. Want me to send you the link? Or I could just get it for you!”

“Uh… just the link is fine,” Hansol said.

Jiwoo nodded, stuffing the remaining pizza into her mouth and reaching for her phone. Her cheeks bulged as she chewed, reminiscent of a hamster storing food. Noeul found himself wondering where all that food went in her small frame. He always thought Jiwoo looked most endearing when she was eating, her love for food making her positively radiant.

Suddenly remembering Hansol’s previous comment about staring too obviously at Jiwoo, Noeul quickly averted his gaze to the window behind her.

“Sent it!” Jiwoo exclaimed, watching Hansol check her phone with barely contained excitement. Her expression was that of a child eagerly awaiting praise for a drawing.

Hansol glanced up, her face still bearing its usual cool expression. “Thanks. I’ll enjoy them later.”

“No problem! If I find any other decent ones, I’ll let you know,” Jiwoo replied enthusiastically, then turned to Noeul with a look that seemed to ask, Didn’t I do well?

Noeul offered a faint smile in response, then glanced at Hansol, whose expression hadn’t changed much from her usual cool, cat-like one.

He noticed something off about Hansol as she sipped her Coke Zero. She seemed almost the same as usual, but her energy felt lower. Last time they’d had dinner after the movie, she’d been in better spirits. Maybe it was because Joonki had been there, or maybe it was just Noeul’s imagination.

Jiwoo pressed on. “Hansol, where do you usually buy your clothes?”

“Online.”

“Oh, do you have any favorite shopping sites?”

“Yeah, a few.”

“Could you share them with me?”

“Sure. I’ll send you the links.”

“Thanks!” Jiwoo beamed. “Oh, what do you usually do in your spare time?”

“Well, if I have free time, I mostly work out.”

“Really? You must really like working out.”

“Not really.”

Noeul glanced at Hansol, trying to gauge her mood, but Hansol avoided her gaze, seemingly ignoring Noeul’s concern. The uneasy feeling Noeul had earlier intensified, but she decided to stay silent for now.

Hansol continued, “I don’t enjoy working out at all. I do it like my life depends on it because if I don’t, I gain weight quickly. So, honestly, my wish is to never have to exercise again.”

“Oh wow… That’s impressive,” Jiwoo said, genuine admiration in her voice.

A faint smile played on Hansol’s lips. “Impressive?”

“Yeah. I’ve never done anything that intensely.”

Hansol nodded, but Noeul caught the hint of skepticism in her expression. Jiwoo, expecting more of a response, shifted awkwardly in her seat.

Trying to ease the tension, Noeul teased, “How is it possible that at your age, you haven’t done anything like that?”

“Huh? What about you? What have you done?” Jiwoo retorted.

“I played League of Legends like my life depended on it. I spent three days and two nights at an internet café without sleeping, showering, or using the restroom. Can you understand the dedication it takes to hold in a poop just to keep playing?”

“Ew, gross,” Jiwoo grimaced.

Hansol chuckled, her expression softening slightly. “Wow, that’s some information I never needed to know.”

“I only answered because Jiwoo asked,” Noeul said, relieved to see Hansol’s mood lighten a bit.

Feeling more at ease, Jiwoo turned back to Hansol. “Then if you dislike it that much, couldn’t you just stop exercising a bit?”

Hansol stared at Jiwoo, her expression unreadable as Jiwoo continued, “You might gain a little weight, but I think you’d still be beautiful. Don’t you weigh less than you should for your height? Maybe you could relax about it a little.”

“Yeah, I guess I do get a bit obsessive,” Hansol admitted.

“See? You don’t need to stress. Even if you gained ten kilos, you’d still look amazing.”

“Well, you’d be pretty even if you gained weight,” Hansol said. “Why don’t you eat more since you love food so much?”

“I do eat more. Whatever I want,” Jiwoo replied. “I really can’t stand being hungry. If I’m hungry at night, I’ll cook ramen. On weekends, I sometimes grill meat right after I wake up. You know how delicious steak for breakfast is?”

“Right.”

Noeul noticed the conversation veering off-course. Jiwoo was trying hard to compliment Hansol and offer solutions, but it seemed to be having the opposite effect, doing nothing to improve Hansol’s mood or increase her fondness for Jiwoo.

Tapping the armrest under the table, Noeul finally spoke up. “Hey, could you both stop with all the talk about who’s pretty and stuff? It’s making me feel left out.”

Jiwoo giggled. “You should’ve joined!”

“No matter how good I am at joining in, that’s a tough one to get into.”

“Why?”

Noeul sighed, “When you keep talking about how pretty Hansol is, have you ever thought about how bored I must be?”

“Oh? Uh…” Jiwoo glanced at Hansol awkwardly, finally realizing her misstep.

“Hansol’s got amazing skin, captivating eyes, and sure, I’d love to have that cat-like face too…” Noeul continued, “But do you think you’d enjoy listening to me talk about League of Legends? I don’t bring it up because I consider my audience.”

“I only mentioned it a few times…” Jiwoo protested.

Both Jiwoo and Hansol looked away, embarrassed.

Noeul then turned to Hansol. “And you, always going on about how Jiwoo’s pretty, cute, and has a great personality… Why don’t you two just hang out by yourselves and stop tormenting me?”

Hansol responded playfully, “You could just walk out the door right now.”

“Wow, harsh. You’re kicking me out?”

“Well, you’re the one whining.”

“Whining? Oh, you’d better not whine to me about a single thing.”

Jiwoo chimed in, “Hansol, you can say things like that directly to me.”

“Ah… it’s kind of embarrassing,” Hansol admitted.

“But it’s nice being able to talk openly with each other.”

Hansol, a bit flustered, teased Noeul, “From now on, just stay out of our group chat.”

“You could’ve just sent each other DMs. Stop being ridiculous.”

Jiwoo scolded Noeul, “Hey, why are you calling Hansol ridiculous?”

“Yeah, it’s all my fault. Everything’s my fault.”

“That’s right, it’s your fault.”

After this playful exchange, the conversation seemed to flow more naturally. Noeul took a step back, occasionally smiling and nodding.

As Hansol warmed up, Jiwoo became more animated. Hansol’s expression softened, her usual aloofness giving way to a gentler demeanor.

Noeul watched them, his thoughts drifting. He imagined people seeing these two pretty girls together, wondering about their relationship with him. Would they assume he was rich, buying them whatever they wanted?

What if Jiwoo and Hansol really became close? Noeul could step aside then. Hansol would have a friend who suited her, and Jiwoo wouldn’t need to approach Noeul anymore. No more awkward third-wheel moments. But what would happen to Noeul?

He’d probably return to his old life. Mostly alone, studying hard, preparing for a job—trying to compensate for his perceived shortcomings. Occasional group gatherings, playing the clown, feeling momentarily included. Then back to solitude. No more deep conversations with Hansol. No more witnessing Jiwoo’s sweet innocence.

The thought made Noeul’s chest tighten. That life now seemed bleak. Just months ago, it hadn’t bothered him at all. He couldn’t even imagine another way of living then. So why did the prospect of returning to it feel so daunting now? Like a deep-sea fish briefly surfacing, only to be plunged back into the depths… He felt he might never be able to live as he did before.

“Noeul, are you okay?”

Jiwoo and Hansol were looking at him with concern.

Noeul quickly composed himself. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

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