Fugly Casanova

This is probably for the best, Noeul thought.

The timing felt right. Jiwoo and Hansol had their own lives; they wouldn’t miss him. And while he’d grown fond of them, their absence wouldn’t leave a gaping hole in his life.

It was time to return to normalcy. Despite the rollercoaster of emotions, Noeul had genuinely enjoyed being in such attractive company. He was aware of how others might view it, and if he was honest with himself, it gave him a slight thrill.

Look at me, he’d catch himself thinking, hanging out with these beautiful girls—and not because I’m paying them or anything. A small, petty part of him wanted to sneer at the world: So what if you’re better-looking? Do you get to spend time with girls like this every day?

It had been a good run. Noeul had discovered that even pretty girls didn’t see him as some kind of pariah. He could be their friend, even if only for a while. Later, when someone gave him that all-too-familiar look of disgust, he could retreat into these memories. To shield himself from the sting, he could silently tell them: You’re just another shallow person who only cares about looks.

This was enough. Spending more time with them would only lead to trouble. Noeul might start to delude himself, thinking his appearance wasn’t the issue. He might begin to believe he wasn’t that unattractive after all, even when faced with his own reflection.

When Jiwoo and Hansol eventually moved on, as people do, Noeul would be left alone. The fall from that high would be brutal. Though he’d never show it, he’d be even more devastated inside. The wounds would fester, and he’d struggle to maintain the facade that everything was fine.

If he stopped now, he could avoid all that. It wouldn’t be them abandoning him; it would be Noeul choosing to leave. That way, he wouldn’t get hurt. He could readjust to solitude. Then, if he happened to run into them, he could greet them warmly without any hard feelings.

“Noeul, are you studying this weekend?” Jiwoo’s voice broke through his reverie.

Hansol jumped in before he could answer. “No, he’s got nothing on. He said he finished his assignments early so he could chill.”

Noeul rolled his eyes. “You two think just because you finish your assignments, all your studying’s done. That’s why you don’t get ahead.”

“Come on,” Jiwoo pouted. “If the assignments are done, we’re done.”

“But you are taking a break this weekend, right?” Hansol pressed.

“Yeah, planning to rest.”

“Then let’s hit up an escape room. I’ve been dying to try one.”

“No thanks. You two go.”

“Why not?” Jiwoo and Hansol chorused.

Noeul glanced between them, eyebrows raised. “What, did you two plan this or something?”

“Why don’t you want to go?” Hansol pressed.

“I started farming.”

“Bullshit,” Hansol scoffed.

“Hey, watch it. I’m serious. There’s this farming game I’m into, and it just got a 1.04 patch. Gotta spend the whole weekend on it.”

Hansol squinted at him. “What farming game? And what’s with the 1.04 patch? Why such a random number?”

“You wouldn’t get it. It’s not something a casual gamer would understand.”

Jiwoo leaned in, her curiosity piqued. “What’s the game called?”

“Happy Farm.”

“Happy Farm?” Jiwoo echoed, incredulous. “Sounds like something for kindergarteners.”

“Don’t knock it. It’s a masterpiece. Anyway, I need to play it all day this weekend.”

Jiwoo’s eyes widened. “All day? Are you a gaming addict or something? First you said you played League of Legends for three days straight, and now this? How do you manage to study so well when you’re always gaming?”

“I study hard so I can game without guilt,” Noeul replied.

“Wow, you’re more of a geek than I thought,” Jiwoo remarked.

Hansol tried to compromise. “Why don’t you join us for the escape room, then go home and play for a couple of hours? You don’t need to play all day.”

Noeul shook his head and sighed deeply. “That’s why I can’t talk to non-gamers about gaming. Time isn’t measured in hours; it’s measured in days. A minimum of 24 hours, most of the time more. You can’t break it down into anything less.”

Hansol glared at Noeul.

Noeul met her gaze. “What? What are you gonna do about it?”

“You seem relieved,” Jiwoo said suddenly.

“About what?” Noeul asked, tension creeping into his voice.

“Like, since Hansol and I are hanging out, you’re relieved you don’t have to join us.”

Noeul felt a twinge of guilt. “What are you talking about? I’m just gaming.”

“Your attitude right now… It’s like a mom finally getting freedom after sending her kid off to elementary school.”

“Wow, what a comparison. Since when am I your mom? Anyway, I’m not free this weekend.”

Jiwoo’s face fell. “Fine… If you’re not going, then I’m not going either.”

“Look at you, acting like an elementary schooler for real.”

“I don’t care! Just push your gaming to next weekend.”

“Hey, do you know how hard it was to wait until this weekend?”

Jiwoo kept whining while Hansol watched Noeul with a suspicious look. Noeul avoided Hansol’s gaze and tried to placate Jiwoo.

This is how it should be, Noeul thought. Staying home to game was something guys did all the time. And it’s not like they were in a relationship—just friends—so it wasn’t a big deal if they didn’t hang out every weekend. There was no reason to feel guilty about it.

***

Noeul’s eyes flicked across the screen, mind racing with calculations.

Cauliflower’s got the best value, so I’ll plant forty… Takes twelve days to grow, so two cycles… During the event, gotta stock up on strawberry seeds… But first, need sprinklers and scarecrows… Gotta mine for iron and copper…

He took a bite of his hot dog, chewing absently while muttering to himself. “Maybe finish that sardine quest first?”

A glance at the clock—3 p.m. He had been gaming for six hours since he’d woken up.

For once, Noeul felt at peace. Sure, hanging with pretty girls was fun, but exhausting. Always second-guessing himself, analyzing every word and glance, worrying about appearances. It was draining.

But here, alone in his room, none of that mattered.

Forget girls; gaming’s where it’s at.

Everyone has their niche. Let the handsome guys chase pretty girls. This was Noeul’s world. Nothing beat this tranquility.

This is the life.

***

In the game, Noeul owned a sprawling three-story mansion he’d never have in reality. Fifty sprinklers tended four hundred crops each morning. His barn housed ten cows, his coop twenty chickens—fresh milk and eggs daily. Crab pots lined the river, always catching something. His warehouse boasted two hundred kegs and a hundred preserve jars, tripling his crop values.

“Clicking these kegs is a pain… My index finger’s gonna be jacked,” Noeul muttered as he tapped through the wine and beer production.

What next?

He scanned various guides, looking for tips to maximize profits, but even the guide writers seemed behind his expertise. Noeul had mastered the game; there wasn’t much left to learn.

He stared at his sprawling farm on the monitor.

Earn money doing this, earn money doing that. Craft this to get that, do that to get this… And then? Become filthy rich in this pixelated world. But for what? Just to get even richer…

A sudden wave of emptiness washed over him.

Every gamer hits this wall, but he hadn’t expected it so soon. Why was that? This game had always brought him so much joy…

His phone buzzed. A message from Jiwoo, including a photo of her and Hansol at the escape room café.

[Hey, the escape room was so much fun. Join us next time.]

Noeul waited ten minutes before replying.

[Yep. Sounds good.]

[We’re going for drinks now. Wanna join?]

Noeul thought about it. A day and a half alone hadn’t been so bad. Maybe joining them for drinks wouldn’t hurt.

Hadn’t he proved he could enjoy solitude? If he was fine alone, why decline every invite?

No, that’s not right. I need this weekend entirely to myself. It’ll cement the feeling of living alone again. Then, come next week, I’ll be more at ease alone and with company.

He typed out his reply to Jiwoo:

[No, I need to gather iridium to upgrade my equipment.]

[You’re crazy.]

Sighing, Noeul guided his character to the village. Night had fallen in-game. He steered towards the central tavern, clicking on an NPC.

[Welcome. Had a rough day? Nothing like a beer to restore your energy.]

He clicked another.

[They say the secret forest is blocked by a sturdy tree. Could it be true?]

And another.

[What do you want? Just leave me alone!]

One more.

[If you need a friend, come to Kelly’s tavern anytime.]

Right now, Jiwoo and Hansol were probably drinking. What if he had gone? It would be lively and fun. They’d trade jokes, he’d tease Jiwoo, and she’d pout adorably. Hansol might playfully scold him. As the drinks flowed, conversation would turn to things they never discussed at school—deep, meaningful stuff. That’s when it got really good.

Maybe Jiwoo would get tipsy, slurring about how much she loved them both, listing reasons why. He and Hansol would laugh it off, tell her to keep it to herself, but secretly, they’d be pleased.

The walk home might be cool in the night air. Maybe they’d grab more beer from a convenience store. Then Noeul would head home, mull over the day, and drift off to sleep…

Noeul blinked, refocusing on the monitor.

Time in the game kept ticking by as he sat motionless. His motivation to play had evaporated. He considered just shutting it down and going to bed.

Buzz.

Buzz.

Hansol was calling.

Noeul wondered if they were drunk dialing him.

A small smile tugged at his lips. Knowing Jiwoo and Hansol were thinking of him, even while out, was comforting. If they’d completely forgotten him, that would’ve stung.

Their continued interest gave him strength to be alone. He needed to quickly adapt to solitude while they still missed him. It would be too painful to think he was the only one missing them when they moved on.

He answered the call, resolved to decline any invitation. “Hey, are you guys having fun?”

“Hey, do you buy seeds from the general store?” Hansol’s voice came through.

“What?”

“In Happy Farm, it says to buy seeds and plant them, but I can’t buy any?”

In the background, Jiwoo was audibly trying to guide Hansol through the interface.

“No, even when I press that, it doesn’t work,” Hansol said. “Look… see, it’s not buying. Of course I tried that.”

Noeul listened to their bickering, bemused. Are they playing Happy Farm instead of drinking?

“What are you guys doing?” he asked.

“Well, you kept saying it was such a great game, so we came to the internet café to try it out.”

“Huh?”

“But I can’t buy potato seeds.”

“…Is your inventory full?”

“Wow, you’re right. How stupid.” Jiwoo’s laughter rang out, calling Hansol a fool.

“Noeul!” Jiwoo’s voice suddenly came through. Hansol must have handed over the phone.

“What?”

“This crow stole my parsnips!”

Noeul couldn’t help but smile. “Oh no, that’s bad.”

“It’s bad? Am I in big trouble? Hansol, Noeul says I’m screwed!” Noeul silently laughed as Jiwoo wailed dramatically. “What do I do now? Start over? I worked so hard on those crops.”

“No, no, don’t start over. Just make a scarecrow. That’ll stop the crows from stealing your crops.”

“A scarecrow? Where’s that? How do I make it?”

Jiwoo and Hansol took turns shooting him questions. When Noeul glanced at the call duration, he was shocked to see they’d been talking for over an hour and a half.

It suddenly hit him that he’d been eagerly answering all their questions. He could have just told them to look it up, but instead, he found himself happily explaining everything.

Noeul began to feel that things weren’t going according to his original plan.

***

“Really? That explains it. I upgraded my watering can, but it didn’t seem to work any better. Did you know about that?” Jiwoo asked Hansol.

Hansol replied, “Of course.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me!”

“Actually, I didn’t know either. You have to hold the button down longer.”

The moment they’d spotted him, Jiwoo and Hansol had bombarded Noeul with more questions about Happy Farm. He’d responded almost mechanically, like a walking game guide.

“But the inventory space is so small,” Hansol said. “It fills up after just a bit of fishing.”

“You can buy a bigger bag at the general store,” Noeul explained.

“Really? I didn’t see that.”

“You just click next to where you buy seeds…”

“No wonder. There’s no way they’d make the game that frustrating. Oh, and—”

“Wait, hold on, no more questions,” Noeul finally cut in. “How long are we going to talk about Happy Farm?”

Jiwoo and Hansol looked at him, puzzled. “We’re going to keep talking about it. Why can’t we?” Jiwoo asked.

Then Hyunsoo, who was nearby, chimed in, “What are you guys talking about? Farming or something? You’ve been going on about it for a while.”

Before Noeul knew it, Jiwoo and Hansol were eagerly explaining to Hyunsoo just how amazing Happy Farm was, flanking him on either side. Hyunsoo, looking bewildered as if he’d been roped into some cult, eventually downloaded the game on his phone.

Noeul watched, dumbfounded, as Jiwoo and Hansol transformed into top-tier salespeople, convincing everyone to download the game.

How did things end up like this? he thought, noticing Jiwoo’s bloodshot eyes and the slight dark circles under Hansol’s.

That night, Noeul was woken up by the constant buzzing of his phone.

Squinting at the bright screen, he saw multiple messages from both Jiwoo and Hansol.

[What level of the mine are the gold ores?]

[Do crops die if they get struck by lightning?]

[Is it worth raising NPC affection levels?]

[Check out my farm, isn’t it awesome?]

Noeul looked at the game screenshots they sent and checked the time.

It was 3 a.m.