Fugly Casanova

Jiwoo slung her bag over her shoulder. “See you in class,” she called out, heading for the door.

“Where are you off to?” Hansol asked, looking up from her textbook.

“Meeting Seonho Oppa for the IMC book,” Jiwoo replied.

Hansol nodded. “Nice. That one’s pretty pricey.”

“Want me to see if I can snag a couple more copies?”

“Nah, Noeul and I grabbed ours last week.”

“Oh… right. Later, then.”

“Yeah, see you.”

As Jiwoo’s footsteps faded down the hallway, silence settled over the student lounge. Only Noeul and Hansol remained, each absorbed in their own tasks.

Noeul couldn’t help but wonder what was going through Hansol’s mind. Did she understand why he was helping Jiwoo get closer to Joonki, despite his own feelings for her? Hansol’s silence spoke volumes—she probably thought it wasn’t her place to pry. That was Hansol’s way; she often conveyed more through what she left unsaid.

If Hansol had asked outright, Noeul knew he’d have brushed it off casually. Not to deceive her, exactly. It would’ve been more like a reflex, the way a rabbit freezes at the first hint of danger.

So when Hansol finally broke the silence, Noeul felt his guard go up instinctively.

“Want to grab a drink later?” Hansol asked.

Noeul hesitated. “I think I’ll just turn in early tonight.”

“Alright. Get some rest, then.”

The thought of drinking with Hansol now made Noeul uneasy. He feared all his pent-up emotions might come spilling out. The closer he felt to someone, the harder it became to keep his feelings in check. And Hansol… she had a way of truly listening.

Having someone really get you was a dangerous kind of comfort. If someone as kind as Hansol offered that, Noeul might find himself making things up just to be comforted.

But everyone has their limits when it comes to shouldering others’ pain. We all have our own struggles, often more than enough to bear. Hansol was no exception. Unburdening himself wouldn’t solve anything; it would only add to her load.

What Noeul needed was time alone to sort through the tangle of his emotions. He needed to find his balance again, to reach a point where he could discuss his feelings calmly if the moment arose.

That was something only he could do for himself.

***

Jiwoo was meeting Joonki solely because of Noeul. It was rare for Noeul to ask for favors, so when he did, Jiwoo knew it must be important. She’d been looking for a chance to be there for him, to return some of the help he’d always given her. This was her opportunity.

Sure, she wasn’t thrilled about meeting someone who had feelings for her. But the fact that Noeul had asked, knowing how awkward it might be, meant there had to be a good reason.

Noeul’s words from before kept echoing in her mind.

“You’re right. But like I said, my selfishness got involved. I wanted to keep you guys… to myself.”

The unexpected admission had caught her off guard. She’d never imagined Noeul harboring such feelings.

“Keep you… to myself,” Jiwoo murmured, tasting the words. Why had he chosen “keep”? She struggled to recall ever feeling that possessive about anyone or anything.

She’d always assumed Noeul cared only about grades and job prospects, joining their hangouts just to blow off steam. But this revealed another side of him—one that cared about being close to girls like her and Hansol. It shouldn’t have been surprising; most guys felt that way. Yet somehow, she’d thought Noeul was different.

Since she and Hansol usually initiated their get-togethers, Jiwoo had assumed Noeul was just going along with it. The idea that he wanted to keep their friendship to himself… it was hard to reconcile with the Noeul she thought she knew.

If it had been Jiwoo feeling that way, she knew her actions would have given her away. Her expressions, her behavior, even her casual comments would have hinted at wanting exclusive time together. How could Noeul’s true feelings be so at odds with his outward behavior? Or was he just saying all this to set her up with Joonki?

No, that didn’t fit. Noeul wasn’t the type to go to such lengths. And the way he’d looked when he said those words, the hesitation in his voice… it hadn’t seemed like a lie.

But why the sudden change? They could have kept hanging out as a trio. Why was Noeul pushing her toward Joonki now?

The realization hit Jiwoo like a bolt of lightning. If she and Joonki got together, Noeul would end up alone with Hansol.

“Noeul and I already bought ours last week.”

At first, she’d thought nothing of it. But now, a seed of doubt took root. Why had Noeul and Hansol bought their books without her when they were all in the same class?

Looking back, there had been other times when Noeul had tried to get Hansol alone. Jiwoo had been so caught up in thinking Noeul was avoiding her, she’d missed what was really going on. He wasn’t avoiding her; he was seeking time with Hansol.

Jiwoo’s hand flew to her mouth as the pieces fell into place. It explained why Noeul and Hansol had lied about going drinking without her.

Noeul must have fallen for Hansol.

Jiwoo stared at her arms, feeling like she was in an episode of Sherlock, everything suddenly making sense.

How could she have been so blind? When Noeul and Hansol had snuck off to drink together, she’d confronted them about leaving her out instead of pretending not to notice. When they’d tried to watch a movie, she’d insisted on joining, taking for granted that they’d always be a trio.

She’d always prided herself on being perceptive about these things. Clearly, she’d been wrong.

A sharp poke to her arm snapped her out of her reverie. Seonho was nudging her with the IMC book.

“What’re you thinking so hard about?”

“Oh, nothing. Thanks for the book! You’re a lifesaver.”

Jiwoo smiled at Seonho, but her mind was already drifting back.

Okay, now that she knew, she could bow out gracefully. But then, would she be left hanging out alone? A pang of loneliness hit her.

Well… she’d managed before, flitting between different social circles. She could do it again. It’s not like Noeul and Hansol would cut her off completely…

Jiwoo tried to reassure herself, pushing down the twinge of uncertainty in her chest.

***

“Just get back from your elective?” Joonki asked as Noeul stepped into the student lounge.

Joonki sat at a desk, Jiwoo on the sofa. The room was otherwise empty. Noeul hesitated, not eager to join them, but leaving would be too obvious. He stepped inside.

“Yeah.”

“Psychology?” Jiwoo chimed in.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Is it any good?”

“Pretty popular. I gave up a major requirement for it.”

“Must be, then.”

“It’s got a reputation.”

Noeul settled across from Joonki, flipping open his laptop. Jiwoo and Joonki fell silent, absorbed in their phones.

As Noeul stared at his screen, his mind wandered. What had happened between those two? Neither had mentioned anything about their relationship. Were they in that awkward early stage? The vibe didn’t feel like it. Had they decided to just be friends? If so, Joonki didn’t seem too bothered. He probably would have said something like, “Jiwoo and I are just gonna be friends. Sorry about that.”

Maybe they were each seeing the situation differently. Joonki might still be pursuing Jiwoo, while she was caught between enjoying the attention and feeling uncomfortable.

If Noeul asked, Joonki might open up. But he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to seem too invested in their relationship; he wanted to appear indifferent, whatever the outcome. He’d already gotten too tangled up in someone else’s business, which wasn’t like him.

Noeul genuinely wanted to stop focusing on them. Whatever happened, it didn’t concern him anymore. If they got together, it wouldn’t rob him of any chance he might have had. If they didn’t, it wouldn’t create an opportunity for him. There had never been an opportunity, and there never would be.

Sure, if he heard they didn’t work out, he’d feel a spark of happiness. Noeul had come to accept that he couldn’t control those feelings; he’d just be quietly glad, and like with other relationships, he’d soon forget about it.

Seeing Jiwoo would sting for a while, but that would fade. He’d been through it before. It’s not like he was head over heels for her anyway. It was more like how all the boys crushed on the prettiest girl in class. If someone new caught his eye, he’d probably forget about Jiwoo.

With that thought, Noeul felt lighter. It was a relief, like finding calm after weathering a storm.

“Time for my elective. What a drag,” Joonki groaned, reluctantly heading for the door.

The thought of being alone with Jiwoo flashed through Noeul’s mind.

Just then, Hansol walked in.

Jiwoo jumped up. “Joonki, you heading to the Liberal Arts building?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll walk with you.”

“Where are you off to?”

“Oh, I… have something to do there too. See you in class, Hansol.”

Hansol nodded as Joonki and Jiwoo left.

“Hey,” Noeul said casually, glancing up at Hansol.

***

“I’m beat,” Noeul groaned.

“Beetle, beetle,” Hansol sang.

“Hungry’s got me beat.”

“Snack shop’s too far awaaaay,” Hansol singsonged. She raised her hand, grinning.

“Look at you, rewriting lyrics on the fly,” Noeul laughed, giving Hansol a high five.

“Inspiration struck like lightning.”

“Don’t get too full of yourself…”

They bantered back and forth as they made their way to the snack shop. Then, in the distance, Noeul spotted Jiwoo.

He told himself to act normal when she got closer—crack jokes, tease her a bit. It was his usual style; it shouldn’t be hard to pull off.

Jiwoo turned her head, catching Noeul’s eye.

When she wasn’t smiling, Jiwoo had this slightly grumpy look. But when she smiled? Pure sunshine, like an excited puppy. He half-expected her to bounce over with her usual cheery energy.

Noeul decided to greet her first. He started to raise his hand…

Jiwoo hesitated for a split second, then quickly dropped her gaze and veered off in another direction.

Noeul’s hand froze awkwardly mid-air.

They’d made eye contact. Why did she just walk away? Was she in a rush? But wouldn’t she at least say hi? Why’d she suddenly look so serious? Could she be avoiding him?

“What are you doing?” Hansol asked, apparently oblivious to Jiwoo’s presence.

“Huh? It’s nothing.”

As they continued toward the snack shop, Noeul couldn’t help glancing back a few times in the direction Jiwoo had disappeared.