Fugly Casanova

“You pay.”

Hansol tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she took a spoonful of hot rice soup.

“Why should I?” Noeul asked.

“Look at you, so ungrateful.” Hansol glanced at Noeul’s puzzled face and continued eating nonchalantly. “I saved you, didn’t I?”

Noeul was baffled by this girl. He couldn’t deceive her at all. He wondered what her life must have been like to hone such sharp instincts. Surely, people like Hansol didn’t need such skills.

As the conversation stalled, Noeul became increasingly silent. He couldn’t tell what would work for or against him. It reminded him of how he used to be as a kid during his early awkward attempts at talking to girls, which made him increasingly uncomfortable.

Hansol, noticing Noeul’s expression, suddenly burst into laughter. “You think too much.”

Noeul felt like he was being swept along by a strong current. He opted for the safest approach.

“I’m not playing games with you. I just don’t know what you’re referring to,” he said, then asked directly, “Why did you say we had plans?”

Hansol blinked her round eyes. “You looked like you were in trouble.”

“Me? I wasn’t.”

“Really? Okay, never mind then.”

“What, that’s it?”

Though he wanted to dig deeper, he felt that would only put him at a disadvantage. It was best to let go.

Just then, Hansol nodded and said, “It’s scary to show your feelings.”

“What are you talking about?” Noeul managed to say, although he felt his expression might give him away. However, he soon realized Hansol wasn’t watching his reactions. If she had been trying to catch him in a lie, she would’ve shown some sign. She had known he was lying all along.

Noeul realized he was outmatched.

“Should I help you get closer to Jiwoo?” Hansol asked.

Was this just a game to her? Noeul wondered if Hansol’s life had been so easy that she enjoyed manipulating others. Maybe she viewed him as just another pawn in her amusement—a laughable spectacle.

Acknowledging any further lies would only make him seem ridiculous.

“I’d rather you didn’t,” Noeul said.

“Jiwoo might have feelings for you, considering how persistent she’s been.”

Noeul let out a small laugh, but Hansol didn’t join in.

Do you expect me to believe that? Are you suggesting I should take that innocent look Jiwoo makes as her having feelings for me?

“I don’t want to be a laughingstock,” Noeul added.

“I don’t want to make you one either,” Hansol replied, her expression so genuine that for a moment, Noeul almost believed her. He sensed that continuing the conversation could be risky.

“I don’t want to upset anyone,” he said cautiously.

“I don’t think Jiwoo would be upset.”

“I never said it was Jiwoo.”

“But you’re worried Jiwoo will be upset, aren’t you?”

“How do you know that?”

Hansol remained silent, the quiet stretching between them.

Realizing his blunder, Noeul reflected on his situation. He knew that people hated losing to someone they considered unattractive. They wanted to crush them by any means necessary. To avoid drawing resentment, Noeul was rarely outspoken about his opinions and shied away from situations where he might excel. He preferred to be seen as harmless, flying under the radar.

Yet, he had inadvertently engaged in an argument with Hansol.

“You’re right,” he said. “I think Jiwoo would get upset. And if I said I liked you, wouldn’t that upset you, too?”

“No, it wouldn’t,” Hansol replied calmly.

Her expression and tone triggered a strange feeling in Noeul. But someone like him wasn’t suited to experiencing such feelings; they generally made him a laughingstock to others.

Pretending to be unaffected, Noeul shrugged. “Still, we wouldn’t end up dating, right?”

“Right…”

“See?”

“But it’s not because of your looks.”

“Then why?”

Hansol didn’t answer.

***

The door slid open.

Noeul looked to his side to see Hansol settling into the seat beside him.

“Hi,” she greeted casually, as if it was perfectly normal for her to sit there, though she typically claimed a spot at the back of the classroom. Today, however, she chose to sit next to Noeul near the front.

Noeul focused on his laptop screen, clicking and typing as if deeply engrossed in his work, but internally, his insides were burning. He felt the curious glances of their classmates darting between him and Hansol. Her presence in the front row, right beside him, was sure to spark discussions—the actions of attractive people always did.

Noeul maintained his composure, showing no signs of surprise, embarrassment, or pleasure. He knew that any reaction would only fuel further interest. His best strategy was to do nothing, to just stay still and endure the scrutiny. People might look for a while, but eventually, they’d lose interest because, deep down, they only care about themselves.

Why were things like this happening to him lately, with both Jiwoo and Hansol?

For a brief moment, Noeul entertained the idea that maybe he’d transformed into someone who could attract the attention of pretty girls. Maybe his personality and capabilities had indeed elevated his social standing. It was an enticing thought, making him want to indulge in the desire to think positively about himself for a change.

But stepping back and thinking objectively, he knew that wasn’t the case. It was more likely that he was standing out too much.

He was lively at social gatherings, had good grades, and a wide network. Normally, an unattractive person was shy and blended into the background, but because he didn’t, he became a subject of interest.

But right now, Noeul didn’t ask Hansol why she sat next to him. Asking would make him seem like he expected a specific answer. It was better for him not to be curious and just assume she had her reasons.

“Noeul, what are you doing after class today?”

Suddenly, Hyunsoo was at his desk.

Noeul said, “Nothing. I was just going to study for finals.”

Hyunsoo said with a sly grin, “You little punk. You’d better be grateful to me.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on! Just thank me,” Hyunsoo pressed.

Noeul, exasperated, said, “Spit it out. The professor’s coming.”

“We’re going on a group date. Four guys, four girls. At Sungji Women’s University.” Hyunsoo snapped his fingers smartly.

Noeul covered his mouth with his fist and said, “Wow, at Sungji?”

Despite his outward reaction, Noeul felt a flicker of fear.

Unlike during his middle and high school days, he could now interact with women without trembling. As long as he projected the image that he had no romantic interest and was simply there to have a good time, and kept reinforcing this belief to himself, talking to women wasn’t difficult.

The real reason people stumble around the opposite sex is that they worry about how they’re perceived as a potential partner. They fear being judged unattractive, leading to internal questions like, “Does she think I’m unappealing? Is she secretly dismissing me?” But if there’s zero chance of a romantic encounter, all those worries vanish. In this way, Noeul, with his less-than-ideal looks, was less awkward around women than those men who couldn’t entirely rule out the possibility of being seen as potential partners.

Still, group dates remained a torturous experience for him. They stripped away his usual defense of disinterest since these setups were about exploring romantic compatibility. The pressure to compete based on attractiveness, knowing his own was considered lacking, was daunting. Simply showing up could make him open to ridicule.

“Alright, if it’s Sungji Women’s University, I’m in.”

So, Noeul assigned himself a different role. Those who invited him to group dates didn’t see him as a competitor. There was an unspoken agreement: “You don’t stand a chance with the girls, so just come along, enjoy their company, and entertain us.” Noeul would reluctantly play along. Even the girls seemed to recognize him in this designated role, which spared him the dread of entering a battle he was bound to lose.

Of course, Noeul had the option to decline. However, then he would be perceived as someone who feels insecure about his looks. This would lead people to carefully tiptoe around topics like appearance, dating, or social gatherings in his presence. Those who were kinder might even pity him. The thought of being treated like that was something Noeul detested.

“Let’s head out after class,” Hyunsoo said, having anticipated Noeul’s agreement. He cheerfully patted the desk and returned to his seat.

Noeul realized that was why Hyunsoo was dressed up today. Apparently, someone originally slated for the group date had bailed, prompting Hyunsoo to ask Noeul as a last-minute substitute. Being seen as an easy and reliable option, who didn’t even need to dress up, was oddly comforting.

“Alright, we’ll start today’s class with the three principles of marketing.”

Noeul took notes on his laptop as the lecture began.

At that moment, Hansol slid her notebook toward Noeul.

Noeul glanced down.

‘Don’t you hate going on group dates?’

It suddenly struck Noeul that Hansol’s behavior seemed like an act. Initially, he had thought she knew something, but now it seemed she was just guessing based on stereotypes. She probably thought, Ugly guys must hate group dates because they’ll just be ignored. But they force themselves to go, pretending to be fine with it.

Noeul scribbled something at the edge of the page.

‘I need to meet girls somehow.’

‘Do you feel excited about it? Happy?’

‘Of course.’

‘Seems tiring to me.’

Noeul stared at Hansol’s response for a moment.

Then he wrote:

‘It’s not tiring to hang out with girls.’

‘Is it really hanging out? Isn’t it more like acting?’

Acting…

Noeul felt he should continue but couldn’t think of what to write next. As he hesitated, Hansol took the notebook back and wrote another sentence.

‘If hanging out with girls isn’t tiring, why not just hang out with me?’

Noeul paused for a moment, then wrote back calmly:

‘Buy your own dinner today.’

‘I’ll buy. I’ll tell the others.’

Noeul blinked at the pen in his hand.

Meanwhile, the lecture ended, and Hyunsoo eagerly approached Noeul’s seat.

“Hey, let’s go,” he said, tilting his chin toward the door.

Looking at the back of the classroom, Noeul saw a few guys waiting expectantly.

“Uh, sorry, Hyunsoo,” Hansol interrupted, leaning slightly between them.

It was rare for Hansol to initiate conversation with someone.

Hyunsoo, suddenly nervous, responded, “Huh? What’s up?”

“Noeul can’t go on the group date today. We’re having drinks.”

“Ah… really?” Hyunsoo looked back and forth between Noeul and Hansol in disbelief, glancing at Noeul as if seeking confirmation.

Hansol replied on Noeul’s behalf. “Yep. Sorry about that.”

“Uh… no problem. Have fun.”

Hyunsoo looked like he wanted to say more but eventually left the classroom.

Noeul stared at Hansol’s calm profile.

She turned to him and said, “Well? Let’s go.”