Hexed Intention

Haein had good friends. Didn’t she? They forgave her immediately, despite the fact that she tried to cut ties and abandon them overnight. They even tried to help her make up with Yoonmin right afterwards. Why were they so good to her?

Was it because Haein’s attitude had changed in less than a day? Or did they have some other reason to trust her? Or maybe they were just exceptionally caring?

Yoonim was sitting in Jiyoo’s desk chair, lost in thought. He hadn’t felt good for the past few days. He couldn’t quite put his finger on why, but the one thing he was sure of was that the source of his frustration was Haein.

Ever since that conversation at the café with Haein and her friends, Yoonmin had been feeling off. He found himself wondering if he was being too petty. Did he just overreact when Haein betrayed him because he was socially awkward? If Yoonmin had more friends, would he have been able to deal with Haein more easily, like her friends did?

Yoonmin also wondered if, maybe, he just didn’t know Haein well enough. Could there be something about Haein that her friends understood, which allowed them to forgive her so quickly? Something Yoonmin didn’t see?

If that was the case, maybe his relationship with Haein was never that deep to begin with. Maybe Yoonmin was the only one who had expected something greater, and he had been the cause of his own disappointment. Had he overestimated his connection with her back in middle school? It wasn’t impossible. From an objective standpoint, was Yoonmin just being ridiculous?

As he was lost in these thoughts, Yoonmin suddenly realized the room was way too quiet. He turned around to see Jiyoo lying face down on the bed. Jiyoo often lay like that, but she usually talked while she did it

“Jiyoo.”

Nothing.

“Jiyoo…?”

She didn’t respond. Instead, faint sobs were escaping from the pillow where her face was buried. She was crying.

“Is something wrong?”

Yoonmin moved to the bed and sat beside her. He asked out of obligation, but he didn’t expect an answer. Jiyoo often cried, sometimes for no reason at all. Or rather, there was never really a day that something wasn’t troubling her. Jiyoo lived in a perpetual state of “something wrong.” When Yoonmin first met her, there were hardly any days when she wasn’t crying.

He gently stroked her hair. It flowed down to her shoulder blades, fine and soft.

“Did they ignore you at school again? Did Eunhye Kim say something? Or did your father cause another scene? Did your mother come home?”

The only answer he got was more muffled sobs.

“Or… did I do something wrong again?”

Jiyoo shook her head. Yoonmin continued to stroke her hair, waiting for her to calm down enough to speak. But he also knew she might not. There had been many days when she cried herself to sleep. Yoonmin saw it as his duty to keep comforting her until she either talked again or fell asleep. Leaving her alone in her misery wasn’t what a good friend did.

Yoonmin kept pulling tissues and dabbing away her tears, but Jiyoo’s shuddering sobs didn’t stop. About 30 minutes passed before Jiyoo finally spoke.

“I don’t know why I’m alive.”

Yoonmin’s hand paused on Jiyoo’s back.

“I don’t really know why I’m alive either,” he admitted.

She had gone quiet again.

“Maybe I’m just alive because death seems too painful,” Yoonmin mused, his hand resuming its stroking.

Even though Jiyoo didn’t respond, Yoonmin kept thinking of things to say in response to her question about why they were alive.

“Maybe I’m living to meet aliens. Now that I think about it, it would be such a waste to live my whole life and die without ever seeing an alien’s face.”

Wait, there’s a chance aliens might not have faces.

As Yoonmin continued narrating his train of thought, he reached for another tissue.

Or maybe… I’m the alien.

That would explain why he was an outcast, why he was a loner, why he couldn’t forgive Haein the way her friends could.

If that’s the case… I wish you were an alien too, Yoonmin thought as he gently ran his fingers through the black silk of Jiyoo’s hair.

Jiyoo spoke up again. “No one likes me.”

Yoonmin, allowing a hint of irritation to infiltrate his voice, responded, “What are you talking about? I like you.”

“Someday, you’ll stop liking me too,” Jiyoo said in a shaky voice. “Just like my mom did.”

“No, I won’t.”

“You don’t know that. You didn’t expect Haein to betray you either.”

“Well, that’s true, but…”

What should he say? There was no point in saying, “That’ll never happen. I won’t betray you. Don’t worry.” Those words didn’t guarantee the future. They only reflected his intentions in the present, which wouldn’t matter much to Jiyoo right now.

After some thought, Yoonmin spoke again.

“If we don’t know what will happen, then maybe it’s not worth worrying about.”

Jiyoo was quiet, pondering.

“You believe that I like you now, right? That you’re my only friend that I can trust?”

Jiyoo nodded slightly.

“Then let’s hold on to that fact and let the rest of the thoughts drift away. After that, we can just hang out and chat like usual. How about that?”

Jiyoo thought for a moment and then shook her head. “I can’t. The thoughts keep circling around.”

Yoonmin had expected this response.

“Hmm… Then… let’s cast a spell.”

She peered up at him. “A spell?”

“A spell to stop bad thoughts!”

Yoonmin walked over to the bookshelf.

I’m sure I left them around here….

He rummaged through the shelves and drawers. After visiting Jiyoo’s house so often, his belongings now outnumbered hers. Yoonmin gathered six candles, a sheet of drawing paper, and a matchbox-sized container, then sat down on the floor.

Jiyoo, curiosity outweighing her sadness, slowly lifted herself off the bed. Dried tear streaks marked her eyes and cheeks. Yoonmin wiped them away with a tissue before laying out the materials for the spell.

“It’s called the Lazarbaivara Face Spell. It stops negative thoughts from getting into your dreams and helps you sleep peacefully.”

“…What’s Lazarbaivara?”

“It’s a mystical idol passed down through Tibetan esoteric traditions. Its origins are… well, you probably don’t want to know that much, right?”

Jiyoo nodded, a faint smile whispering across her lips.

“The spell is simple. First, you draw Lazarbaivara’s circle on the paper, like this. It has to be big.”

Yoonmin used a compass to draw a circle about 40 cm in diameter. Anyone serious about practicing magic knows that the most critical skill is precise drafting. Drawing a magic circle accurately is no easy task.

Lazarbaivara’s circle consisted of a large outer ring with six smaller circles along its edge, and the interior was filled with intricate curves and symbols. Jiyoo watched in a daze as Yoonmin drew the circle.

At least her tears had stopped. That alone meant Yoonmin’s plan was at least half of a success.

“Then we place the six candles in the smaller circles and light them. Jiyoo, can you hand me a pillow? Yes, we place the pillow in the center of the magic circle. After that, we put this inside the pillow and chant the spell.”

Yoonmin clasped his hands together inside the magic circle. The scent of burning candles wasn’t bad, adding to the sense that they were performing an actual spell.

“Lazarbaivara, who watches over the loom. Block those creeping under the moonlight with your threads. Bind resentment, sorrow, anger, and fear, and cast them into the shadows beyond. Let your child fall into a deep sleep tonight.”

Yoonmin glanced at Jiyoo’s expression and brought his face closer to the candle flame.

“Now we’ll blow out the candles in a clockwise direction. Starting from here….”

“Wait a minute,” Jiyoo interrupted. “Yoonmin Seo… What did you just put in my pillow?”

He’d been caught. “It’s an amulet.”

“It looks really big and weird, let me look at it.”

“If you look at the contents of an amulet, its effectiveness decreases,” he argued. “You shouldn’t look.”

“I caught a glimpse of it… Something about it seems… Give it to me,” she demanded.

“Uh,” Yoonmin said, stalling. “I said no, you shouldn’t look.”

“Give it to me! What if I can’t sleep because it’s uncomfortable?” Jiyoo’s voice had risen to a shout. She snatched the pillow from the center of the magic circle. Yoonmin tried to stop her, but the fear of knocking over a candle and burning Jiyoo’s house down held him at bay.

Jiyoo fished the amulet out of her pillow and pulled it open to peer inside.

Predictably, she screamed and threw the amulet against the wall.

“No, don’t!’ Yoonmin yelled. “What are you doing?”

“What are you doing, you crazy idiot! You put a dead spider inside my pillow?!”

“It’s a spider specimen!”

“Same thing!” Jiyoo screeched. “Get rid of it right now!”

Yoonmin made a sound of exasperation. “Do you know how valuable this is? The scientific name is Euophrys omnisuperstes! It’s a spider specimen that only lives in the Himalayas! What if you broke its legs when you threw it?”

“Why don’t you enjoy your precious specimen on your own instead of stuffing it in my pillow! Now I’m going to get nightmares I’ve never even had before!”

Yoonmin let out a beleaguered sigh.

“Lazarbaivara is a spider god with eight eyes and eight legs. This is a ritual to summon Lazarbaivara, so of course a spider is necessary!”

“Why would you summon something like that?!” Jiyoo shuddered.

“Hey, Jiyoo Im! Do you know how much a Euophrys omnisuperstes specimen costs? I went through all this trouble for you…” Yoonmin made his voice as dejected as he could muster. “And now the ritual is ruined. You damaged the medium during the ceremony, so Lazarbaivara might get angry and curse me…”

“…Is that how it works…?”

Yoonmin turned his back on Jiyoo, folded the magic circle, and stood up.

“Hey… Yoonmin… Where are you going?”

“To the yard. To burn this. If I don’t burn it, it might bring bad luck.”

“You’re not angry at me, are you?”

He didn’t reply.

“Hey, Yoonmin, you know I hate spiders. I couldn’t help it…”

His ploy was working.

“How much did that Euophrys something cost? I’ll pay you back, okay?” she said, tone taking on a tinge of desperation.

“Forget it.” Yoonmin pretended to sulk as he went down the stairs, and Jiyoo followed behind, calling out to him. Yoonmin tried hard to hold back his laughter.

Euophrys omnisuperstes? How could he possibly get something like that? He didn’t even know what that spider looked like. What he had actually put in the box was just a common orb weaver spider that you could find anywhere in Korea. There was no way Jiyoo knew that, though.

Whether the ritual failed or not didn’t matter—Yoonmin’s plan had succeeded. Jiyoo’s mood had completely shifted.

“I said I’m sorry…” she whined. “How about we order a dry hot pot?”

After burning the magic circle, Yoonmin and Jiyoo ordered a dry hot pot and savored every bite.

And so the day passed.

***

The next morning, as soon as Yoonmin entered the classroom, Soyul greeted him.

“Yo, Yoonmin.” She approached him and said, “Hold out your palm for a sec.”

He looked at her suspiciously.

“Hurry.”

Bemused, Yoonmin held out his palm. Soyul opened her fist above his hand and dropped something into it.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a cookie.”

“No, I mean, why are you giving it to me?”

“Who knows? I probably gave it to you to eat.”

Soyul gave him a strange smile.

Why does she keep giving me things?

“Hurry up and eat it, come on.”

Not wanting to argue, Yoonmin put the cookie in his mouth.

But then, he bit into something that was not cookie.