In a World without God

Alone, the moon casts its light through the darkness, lighting the night, then retreats to hide its face when morning comes. When a swarm of dark clouds blocks its light, what does the moon look like behind them?

Bosha had always wondered that.

Ygraine always smiled in front of people. When she wasn’t smiling, it made people uneasy. A Saint must always win against the darkness. She must be the hope of all. People took this for granted, like the moon lighting up the night.

After joining Ygraine’s army, Bosha eagerly awaited the opportunity to kill her. There was a day when he thought he had the best chance. Ygraine had wandered off alone into the forest. Bosha followed her and watched as she sat down beside a small lake. Bosha hid, sword in hand, and watched.

“Captain Bosha.”

Ygraine wasn’t easily fooled. She knew Bosha had followed her, so she called him. Bosha stepped out of the bushes, his sword hanging low at his side.

“Humans. Why do they kill each other?”

Bosha looked around nervously, unsure about the question.

“Why do you ask me that? It’s what humans do. We kill, trample, and bite each other. It’s our nature.”

Ygraine covered her face with her hands. For a long time, neither of them spoke. It wasn’t until the clouds obscuring the moon passed that Bosha realized Ygraine had been crying. The tears that had fallen on her hands glistened in the moonlight.

Bosha swallowed hard and raised his sword. He knew he wouldn’t get another chance like this.

“No. I don’t believe you. Humans are not like that.”

Bosha lowered his sword, confused. He couldn’t go through with it. Ygraine was normally so happy. She always smiled at Bosha, a small, knowing smile, like she knew everything there was to know in the world. Bosha had come to hate that smile. It fuelled his intent to kill her even more.

But here, now, seeing her cry, Bosha felt all that hate leave his body.

“You really think that?” he asked quietly.

“I do.”

Bosha felt his insides somersault.

“If you… If you really believe that, then I’ll make it come true. I’ll fix every human for you.”

Months later, when they were fighting the witch and her monstrous forces, Bosha felt weak. He watched Ygraine from afar as she strode across the battlefield and lamented what a fool he had been, how he could ever have wanted to kill her. Now, all he wanted was to be her sword or shield to protect her at all costs.

When Bosha was poisoned, there was only one thing he could think.

I will search the world for you. I will find you. Ygraine.

Bosha died without being able to protect Ygraine. He couldn’t even protect her from the grief of his death.

But this time, it will be different.

Ed tied Ygraine’s sword at his waist.

“This time, I will find you, and you will show me all your true expressions. No matter what.”

***

“Kurzina.”

“Yes, my Lord?”

Ed’s eyes shone like a blade freshly honed on a whetstone.

“Select six men who can read and write well, men you trust, and bring them to this library. Compile a history of the war since the year 476 of the Astanian calendar and report it to me. It must be done today.”

Given the size of the library, six was the optimal number. Ed was quick at math. Any more people, he realized, and their paths would overlap and become inefficient.

“Lord Bosha, do you mind if I take over?”

Kurzina glanced at Hathor. Hathor was responsible for managing the secret library. It was strange for Ed to address Kurzina in front of the library owner, and Hathor found it equally puzzling.

Ed’s eyebrows twitched, and he spoke in a low, rumbling voice, like the threat of an angry lion.

“Don’t make me repeat myself. I said I would leave it to Kurzina.”

Kurzina looked up at Ed and clasped her hands together. Ed stared into Kurzina’s eyes.

“Kurzina, I will believe everything you report. I will believe it, and I will act upon it. In other words, you have gained power over me. You could tell me a lie and send me wandering in vain in the wrong place, or you could drive me to my death."

“I would never!” Kurzina burst into tears. “It will never happen! I swear on my life to Assyria that if I ever tell a lie to the Saint, the moment I do, my five organs will be spilled on the floor, my heart will be gouged out, and I will be food for the worms!"

Ed shook his head.

“No need. If you want to tell a lie, say it, and if you want to kill me, kill me.”

“No! I will only tell you the truth, even if it means death. I will give you my all to help you.”

Kurzina left the office with a stern look on her face. Mercenary Captain Bosha was always like this. He staked his life on trust. Of course, only with someone worthy.

Hathor stared at him, dumbfounded.

“I was wondering, if I may ask, how would the history after 476 help break the Black Orb?”

“None of your business. You get to work on the preparations for the Festival of Saints, that’s it.”

After giving Hathor his instructions, Ed left the office.

He made his way to Yug’s mansion. After the collapse of the wooden building, it was decided that Enri and the other descendants of Ygraine would stay at Yug’s mansion. But there was someone else Ed wanted to see.

“I knew you’d be here.”

“Ha! So it’s you. Captain Bosha. You have a good head on your shoulders.”

All the silver-haired children were gathered in Enri's room, and Ishkur was in the middle, teaching them to play backgammon.

“Ed, our lives have never been the same!”

“I’m scared to go out in the hallway. People keep praying in front of me.”

“I feel weird being alone in a big room. I can’t calm down.”

The children looked at Ed and said one thing after another. But Ed didn’t have time to chat, so he turned to Ishkur.

“I thought you’d at least try to woo them first before getting them on your side. They’re a powerful and innocent force, after all.”

“I’m not trying to woo them; they’ll get the wrong idea. I just want to get to know them.”

“Then why don’t you get to know me too?”

Ishkur narrowed his eyes.

“To befriend Captain Bosha, what an honor! But you don’t look like you want to get acquainted with me.”

Ishkur wiped the smile from his face and stepped closer to Ed

“What do you want?”

“Contact with the upper west.”

“What can Captain Bosha give me in return?”

It didn’t matter if Ed was Bosha or not. Ishkur would use anything to accomplish his goals.

But Ed already knew what Ishkur wanted.

“I will find your mother.”

***

Kurzina began her report.

In the year 476 Astanian, Black Fang leader Bosha defeated the last of the witches, and kingdom forces led by Ygraine took control of the Imperial capital, El Medina. The war seemed to be turning in the kingdom’s favor.

Ed nodded along. This was as far as he could remember in his memories as Captain Bosha.

But soon, the tables were turned. An army led by Nekveta surprised the kingdom forces in Sijia. Nekveta’s specialty was reanimating and controlling the dead. The morale of the army plummeted as their dead comrades became the enemy. Many dropped their weapons and fled.

Ed paused, a question on his mind.

“Nekveta the necromancer? Surely Assyria had killed her?”

Bosha had seen Assyria plunge her sword into Nekveta’s throat. Besides, even if she were alive, it would be strange. The king’s army had Ygraine. All she had to do was shine her light, and the corpses would return to the grave. Because of this, Nekveta was the most powerless of the witch’s servants.

Ed continued to read Kurzina's report, questioning until his eyes stopped at one sentence.

Ygraine was lost in this battle.

Unable to contain himself, Ed slammed his hand down on the desk. A thud echoed through the library. Ed couldn’t believe it. Ygraine had gone missing after struggling against an army led by Nekveta?

“My Lord, is something wrong?”

Kurzina walked over to where Ed sat at the desk, reading the report. Ed chewed the flesh on the inside of his cheek as he re-read the words. Each sentence became a needle, stabbing him in the chest.

Ygraine, Shamas, and Laotou fought Granadilla in the hills of Mastaba, north of the Ascidian coast. Granadilla defeated and killed Ygraine, scattering her soul into small pieces.

Ed nearly threw up. Why was Granadilla still alive? Why couldn’t Ygraine, Shamas, and Laotou defeat her? Why couldn’t Bosha be there?

Ed’s eyes burned. Swallowing hard, he finished reading the report.

Shamas also died in this battle. It was said that Laototu anticipated Ygraine’s defeat and fled, hiding in the shadows.

Kurzina had added an annotation beneath this part:

This account conflicts with the previous one. A three-day journey separates Sijia and Mastaba. There was no reason for Ygraine to abandon the kingdom’s forces stationed in Sijia and run to Mastaba, so why would she appear there?

Nevertheless, quite a few books report the same thing. Perhaps there are distortions in the location or the context of events.

Ed’s eyes widened. He’d found a major flaw in the account.

“Why did Ygraine, who was in Sijia, die in Mastaba?”

***

“Lady Ygraine, why don’t you try some alcohol? It makes me feel like I’m floating on my feet and light-headed; it’s a wonderful feeling!”

“Laotou, don’t you float even when you don’t drink?”

“Oh, usually I’m calm and sharp. If I set my mind to it, I am even better than Shamas.”

Laotou looked across the tavern to where two men were jeering and pointing at Ygraine. She growled and launched herself at them, swinging her sword as they yelled in surprise. Laotou threw a punch. It landed square across the jaw of one of the men.

“You’re crazy!” the other shouted at her, grabbing his friend as they hurriedly left.

“Laotou!” Ygraine chided her. “Why on earth would you hit a man? I told you, don’t drink so much!”

“But they were harassing you! Did you see the way they were looking at you?”

“It’s no big deal.”

“Of course, it’s a big deal! I should have finished them.”

“Laotou…”

Everyone who knew Laotou knew she would never abandon Ygraine. Laotou only loved Ygraine and would do anything and everything to protect her. She would never leave her, no matter the cost, even if the cost was her life.

Laotou was the first of the Twelve Apostles, the first life born of the blood of Lutea. As such, she was more attached to Ygraine than any other of the Apostles. It was like a child chasing its mother all day long. To a child, their mother is the only thing in the world. It was true with Laotou as well. To her, Ygraine was everything.

***

“Laotou! She’s done something!”

Ed was convinced by the records Kurzina had compiled. Laotou couldn’t have run away alone. She must have done something for Ygraine. Without anyone knowing!

“We need to find Laotou. Without the witch finding out.”